Last Chances
by Vixen1
Summary: Hiiro can't control his rage- and when he goes too far, he promises to get help. Serena lost her sanity and hope long ago. Can these two find comfort in each other? Or is it too late for their salvation? Epilogue! COMPELTE!
1. They're Coming

Last Chances 

~~~Wow! Spur of the moment I get this great idea for a fic and had to sit and write it! It's going to be original and completely mental, so bare with me and hang on for a wild ride! And, as always, expect a Moon/ Yui romance- it's what I'm best at! ~~~

~~~**VERY** **IMPORTANT:** **Rated R- for strong violence and dark, adult themes**

~~~I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DISCLAIMERS

Chapter One: They're Coming…

*The old song 'they're coming to take me away ha-ha, they're coming to take me away ho-ho… to the funny farm…' ran through her head. What the hell was wrong with these people? She was fine! Was what she did any of their business? 

They were taking her away, away from her home, away from her life. They would force her to do things she didn't want to do, they would pretend to care- worse, in her mind, then actually caring. 

It wasn't like anyone else cared what she did. Everything was so simple, so black and white in her mind. This was crazy, but she was not. Struggling harder, she twisted and wriggled, in hopes that it would make holding on to her more difficult. But nothing she did helped.

"Let me go!" She cried out, pleading that something would deter them. But they simply shrugged and grimaced, clenching down on her arms tighter. "You can't do this to me! Stop!"

"It's for your own good dear!" Her mother called from the door. Like hell it was! 

"No!"

"I love you!" Came the sickeningly sweet voice again.

"You don't, or you wouldn't let them do this to me! There's nothing wrong with me! Let me go!" She cried out in desperation. "Let me go!" She kicked even more. And still they dragged her away, into the black and white car with the flashing red lights. As they threw her into the backseat, she bumped her head hard against the glass window on the other side. But she didn't feel it. She didn't feel anything anymore… how could she when there was nothing left to feel? 

"I'll see you soon dear!" Her mother called to her again- safely tucked away in the doorway of the broken down apartment building. But she was too tired to respond by now. All of her struggling and the bump on her head were beginning to take effect, as well as the sedatives the idiots had force-fed her. The only thing she could do now was bend over and hang her head as she lurched, emptying the meager contents of her stomach onto the floor of the cop car.

"Crap!" She could hear the policemen up front swearing at her for stinking up their car. But she didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered… bastards… all of them- pure bastards.

As she sat up, she looked at them with a dangerous eye and smiled, her teeth yellow with puke and her face sweaty and ghostly white. She could see their eyes widen in fear. Yes… be afraid of me… fear me…

"Rot in hell!" She screeched loudly and rattled at the cage-like separator between her and them. And then everything went black.

The next time she woke, everything around her was bright and blurry. She stared up at the pristine white ceiling, knowing where she was but wishing she were far away. Finally she was able to pull herself to a sitting position and look around. Just as she had suspected. The walls were white. The bed she sat on was white. The floors were a shiny white. And her clothes… she wore a white hospital gown. They were mental if they thought she would put up with this! She wasn't going to stand for this, no! She did not belong in a mental institution.

)(

"Put the gun down! Please Hiiro! Think about it! If you shoot him, everything is gone! Finished! Ruined! You can't do this anymore!"

"Damnit Quatre, shut up!" Hiiro sneered softly at Quatre, who stood behind him. In front of him sat a trembling Duo, holding his head high, but fear evident in his eyes.

"Hiiro, I didn't mean to touch your laptop, honestly! It was an accident!"

"Hnn." Duo cringed even more. Hiiro had always been eccentric, but this was taking it too far. 

Earlier that day Hiiro had left his laptop on, and Duo, who had been working down in the basement, had blown a fuse, shorting the power in the house. Hiiro had walked in a few moments later to find that everything on his computer- _everything-_ was gone. Lost. And he had snapped. 

Taking his rage out on Duo, he had hunted the boy out and beaten him. Now he had his gun out and pointed at the poor boy, ready to shoot, and Duo was truly scared that maybe Hiiro really was going to do it this time…But Quatre had walked in just at the right time.

"Hiiro, you can't kill Duo. He's your best friend!" Quatre tried to talk some sense into the crazed boy. This had to stop! Since the wars had ended, Hiiro had become more and more violent. It was as if the fighting during the wars had been the way to release his bottled up anger. But surely… that was it! Quatre sighed in relief! He knew how to stop Hiiro.

"Hiiro, you're perfect. Perfection does not include showing emotions, such as anger. If you kill Duo, you'll be less than perfect!"

"Hnn." Hiiro grunted. But then what Quatre said registered slightly. He looked down at his gun. He could see his trigger finger shaking, ready to pull on a second's notice. He looked past the barrel of the gun to see his best friend, Duo, curled up in a small ball, trying to defy him. Duo's face was covered in blood. Both his eyes were swollen and black, his nose had been shattered, his lip spilt, and his head had a long gash from his left temple to his jaw. Had he… done… that… Hiiro dropped the gun.

"Duo…" He whispered, falling to his knees. "Duo, I'm sorry…" But Duo stayed down, still trembling. Hiiro cringed. His friend had been through as much as he during the war, and nothing had ever scared him before. But he, Hiiro, had scared him. The one who was supposed to be his friend… had scared him….

"Duo!" Quatre ran to Duo the moment Hiiro had dropped the gun. Quatre cradled Duo's shaking form and glared at Hiiro. Then his eyes became sympathetic when he saw how much Hiiro meant his apology.

"It… it's ok Hiiro…" Duo managed to gasp out finally. 

"No… it's not." Hiiro picked up the gun again. He could feel his own hand shaking. "I hurt you, and I can't even cry for you. It's not ok…" He raised the gun to his own head and though his hand was shaking, he could feel the cool metal against his temple was steady. A shot rang out.

"Yui, suicide is not an honorable thing to do." Wufei yelled from the doorway, tears in his eyes. Trowa was holding a gun in his hand beside him, his expression not much better. Hiiro hand still stung from where Trowa had shot the gun out of his grasp.

"It would be a fitting punishment." Hiiro muttered.

"No Hiiro, it wouldn't." Trowa picked him up and set him on his feet. Wufei helped Quatre do the same for Duo. 

"Hiiro, don't worry about it." Duo grinned, and his lips began to bleed again.   
"I've had worse."

"From your own friend?" Hiiro spat.

"No, but that's besides the point."

"I'm leaving." Hiiro pulled out of Trowa's grasp.

"Hiiro, you leave, and who knows who'll you'll go after next? Not everyone is as strong as Duo or Quatre or Wufei and I. They won't be able to survive the beating, much less your shot." Trowa warned. Hiiro stopped.

"And what should I do? Stay here and kill you?"

"You need help Hiiro." Quatre told him gently.

"Hnn."

"There is no shame in getting help Hiiro." Wufei added. 

"Hnn."

"Please Hiiro?" Duo chimed in. "As punishment for what you did to me?" Hiiro looked at his broken friend. He really looked. And then he nodded.

"As punishment." The four pilots around him managed slight, forced smiles at each other. Hiiro was finally getting help. None could decide whether this day was a good one, or a bad one. *

~~~Do you think this is ok? It's rated for a reason, but please don't think all of it will be this dark. I promise it will have some humor… I hope… Much love, Vixen ~~~


	2. Communication?

Chapter Two: Communicate?

*"You'll like it here Mr. Yui. All of the others are nice. A little insane, but if they weren't, why would they be in here?" A short woman with red hair chuckled.

"Hnn." The woman stopped cold and grunted loudly, trying to clear her throat.

"Yes. Well. At any rate. Since you've checked yourself in, you have to stay for a week minimum. At the end of this week, the doctors on their overall evaluation of you will judge your sanity. Then you will be released, or free to leave anyway."

"Hnn."

"But you must understand the one exception. In putting yourself here, you run the risk of being detained if we feel you are truly mentally unstable enough to cause harm to others." At that comment, Hiiro inwardly groaned and rolled his eyes. If he was in a mental hospital for pulling a gun on his friend, he would surely be detained. Then he straightened. He was Perfect. But a question nagged at him.

"If you deem me mentally unstable I can't check myself out- even though I've self- imposed my stay here?"

"That's right. But that's only if you're a danger to society. Didn't they tell you when you were signing the forms?"

"No."

"Well." Silence ensued. Finally the woman laughed nervously. "Ah, this is your room. I'll let you get settled, and then in about twenty minutes I'll be back to give you schedule of activities and such. We try to keep busy here. Is that enough time for you to unpack and settle down?"

"Yes."

"Then I suppose I'll see you in twenty." The woman winked, and Hiiro shuddered involuntarily. 

Once the woman closed the door, Hiiro relaxed. Or at least he calmed his temper. He had been on the brink of pulling his gun at the woman. But he hadn't. Perhaps it was the guilt from his episode with Duo that had stayed his nervous hand- or maybe he just had been too tired to deal with it all. Grunting loudly at his useless and listless thoughts, Hiiro dropped his bag and began setting up. An entire week in one place with a bunch of loons was not what his idea of Perfection. 

Some Perfect Soldier he had turned out to be. Here he was in a nut house because he couldn't control his temper. Perfection was not expressing feeling. Perfection was keeping a calm and stoic face, not allowing others to catch a glimpse of it all. He was a failure, first as a soldier, and then as a human. 

No, he told himself. He had never had the chance to be human, so he couldn't be a failure at that. Yet. But once these damned psychologists got their meat hooks into his subconscious and started to try to dissect his mind and motives, he knew the buried humanity would surface. How could it not if he was dredging up his past? And once it surfaced, he would indeed become a failure at humanity as well. 

Wasn't that always the way though? Hiiro allowed himself to sigh aloud. He slackened his knees and sank to the bed. Propping his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, he rubbed his face roughly, trying to wash away his self-pity. He couldn't afford it right now, what with the doctors watching him so closely and all. To be accused of chronic depression was the last thing he needed.

)(

This. Was. Hell. In every which way, this damned place could be described as hell. Just because she had had a few bad days they had shut her up in this loony bin. And now they expect her to talk about her feelings? What the hell was this all about? Did they honestly think they would be able to have some sort of major break through with her? 

"Now then. Sara wasn't it?" The doctor in front of her looked up from his papers.

"Serena." She corrected him.

"Ah, yes. Serena. How are you today Serena?"

"The same as I am everyday."

"And how is that?" The doctor humored his patient.

"Can I ask a question?" Serena ignored his question.

"I don't see why not." The doctor conceded.

"How long have you been a doctor here?"

"Nearly three years."

"And I've been here for about three months. Now in that time, I've been coming to see you twice a week every week. How is it that you don't know my name or how I feel yet?" Serena settled back in her chair and watched as the doctor struggled with her question. 'Let's see him talk his way out of this one. I'm sure his answer will be more than original.' She inwardly smirked.

"It's not that I don't know your name or how you feel Serena, it's just that I have a lot on my plate, and it's very hard to keep track of everything. I slip occasionally. I'm sorry."

"You picked this profession, not me. Don't apologize to me, apologize to yourself."

"Enough. That tone of voice and attitude is not appreciated Serena."

"So sorry."

"Feeling sarcastic today?"

"Always."

"Sarcasm is often just a means of hiding behind humor when you're not happy. Are you happy Serena?"

"I don't know doctor. You seem to know everything else, why don't you tell me. Am I happy?" She chided in a snippy manner. The doctor sat back in his chair and rubbed his chin, as id he were trying to decide something.

"Alright Serena. I'll tell you what I think. I think you're unhappy that you're cooped up in a mental institution."

"Bingo." Was Serena's sweet answer. The doctor sighed.

"But Serena, it's for your own good."

"How so? You think that by stuffing me up and away in a mental institution you'll be able to cure me? Separate me from my problems and solve them? Somehow I highly doubt anything you do is going to help me."

"We don't want to shove you in a corner Serena. We only want to get to know you so we can see your problems objectively and help you to see alternate routes to solving them."

"Oh yes. You want to get to know me so badly you can't even remember my name. You're a lying sack of crap, and frankly, I don't want to be here. Let me out."

"You know we can't do that."

"You can. You mean I know you won't."

"Serena… why must you always be so difficult. Is it so hard for you to just talk? Communicate? I'm an ear here to listen, take advantage of that."

"You're an ear out to listen to my problems? Well I don't want an ear. Mine suit me just fine. I don't need your help." She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. Her secrets were her own. Never would she just up and tell them to anyone… the only person who deserved to hear her secrets was someone she could trust. But there was no such person, she knew. She had been betrayed too many times, enough times to know that no one be could be trusted. No one.

"Serena. You tried to overdose yourself with Excedrin and alcohol. You tried to commit suicide Serena, you tried to kill yourself."

"Would have solved everything."

"No, it wouldn't have. What made you want to end your life?"

"None of your business."

"Your mother seems to think it was school." Serena snorted. Her mother? What a joke! This fraud of a doctor was going to listen to her mother? Then he was more diluted than she was! 

"Was that it? School Serena? Were you having a hard time socially? Did it drive you to this? Is that why your grades were so bad?" The doctor continued.

"Look old man! My grades were bad because I'm an idiot! I had no problems socially, so back off!" Serena stood. The doctor looked startled for a second.

"Very well Serena. Sit down." Serena looked at him angrily, but sat back down. Bastard. He was never going to get anywhere with her, she would make sure of it. "Serena would you like to know something?"

"What's that?" She clipped. The doctor shuddered. Her voice was so cold. He wasn't often afraid of his patients, even though most of them were mentally unstable. But Serena… it wasn't her physical appearance so much as it was her voice and eyes that scared him. There was such emptiness and desperation, and hatred for humanity within them. 

"Every time you come in here, we have the same conversation. We haven't made any progress in the three months you've been here. You would be able to get out a lot faster if you would just _talk_."

"Bull. You wouldn't let me out. I still have to reach that damned weight goal. Or may I remind you your other doctor friends have been telling me I'm an anorexic bulimic too?"

"I know very well what your case is."

"Then why should I talk if I won't get to leave when I do?"

"It might help speed up the healing process is all."

"I can't gain weight any faster when I'm 'healing' than when I'm not. Gaining weight is biological, not mental."

"Anorexia is not just a physical illness. You think-"

"You think you're fat too, and that distorts the way you see things and yourself. I know. God, you've drilled _that_ one into my head so many times I'm going to throw up if I hear it again. And I can throw up very easily now. One of the few perks of being bulimic."

"There are no perks in being bulimic."

"So you'd think. But I have to disagree. I lost weight, not to mention I learned to throw up on cue."

"You can also destroy the lining to your throat, become so emaciated that you will never be able to have children, cause damage to your heart and brain, and ruin your teeth."

"My throat is fine, and my teeth? Pearly white." Seren smiled evilly just to prove her point.

"But what about the other side effects?"

"I didn't want kids anyway. They're annoying."

"And your heart?" Serena stopped. That was one thing she did miss. Because of her eating disorders, she had caused permanent damage to her heart. She had always liked running, but now she couldn't anymore. Or she couldn't for long periods of time anyway. But she wasn't going to let this damned doctor get the best of her. She couldn't let him know his words had struck a cord within her.

"My heart? Who needs to be able to exercise anyway? Now I have an excuse to get out of P.E. in school."

"Serena." The doctor moaned. She was so tiring. He glanced at the clock. "Very well. Our time is up. We'll continue-"

"You mean repeat."

"_Continue_ this next time we meet."

"Fine." Serena stood. She made for the door as quickly as she could, but just as she reached for the handle, it moved for her. Jumping back, Serena watched the door open. She hadn't been expecting that one. Serena looked to see who it was. *

~~~NOTES: So? Everyone on board for this one? **PLEASE** **REVIEW**! Is R too much for this fic? **Do** you think I could lower it to **PG-13?** I can never tell anymore. **HELP**! TELL ME! Much **love**, Vixen~~~


	3. The White Walls

Chapter Three: The White Walls

*One of the nurses she had seen around the hospital before was standing in front of her, white uniform on and hair bobbed perfectly. Serena shuddered. It was too classic for her taste. The woman looked like she had just stepped out of the fifties.

"Doctor Carl? I've brought Mr. Yui to meet you." The woman called into the room past Serena.

"Oh! Well, bring him in. I suppose there's no real reason to delay him." 

"Right." The nurse nodded in agreement. She stepped into the room and held the door open. In stepped a boy Serena was sure she had never seen. She would have remembered otherwise. The boy in front of her was taller than herself, but not tall in general. His messy chocolate hair hung in disarray, obstructing his vision. From behind his long, mess bangs Serena could see deep, oceanic eyes that stared indifferently into the room. He was so… square. 

"You must be Hiiro Yui?" The doctor smiled tiredly and rose from his seat. "I'm Doctor Carl Benson, but please, doctor or doctor Carl will do just fine."

"Hnn." Hiiro grunted. Then he realized he had better talk. He didn't want them thinking he was crazy. Crazier anyway. "I'm Hiiro Yui."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Hiiro." Just then the corner of the doctor's eye caught something. He sighed Oh yes. "Serena? I'll see you three days."

"How unfortunate for us both." Serena murmured. She was still studying the newest addition to their crazy farm family. 

"I suppose I should introduce you?" The doctor said, noticing Serena's eyes. "Serena, this is Hiiro Yui. He'll be here for the next week or so. Hiiro, this is Serena Tsukino. She's one my more stubborn patients."

"Gee doctor, you make me sound special." Serena muttered sarcastically. She smirked when the doctor rolled his eyes. "Nice to meet you Hiiro. Have fun in here, I know I sure as hell do."

"Sarcasm is not appreciated Serena."

"That's why I do it. Be seeing you Hiiro." And Serena strolled out the door, the nurse who had brought Hiiro following her. Throughout the entire meeting, Hiiro remained silent, watching the interaction between the doctor and the girl. He couldn't really make out most of her features, except maybe her long light brown hair, because of the dimness of the lights. 

"Hiiro, sit. I'm sorry about that. Serena is… one in a million."

"She give you a lot of trouble?" Hiiro clipped out.

"No, not really. At least, not until she's in here, one on one with me. But we aren't here to discuss her. We're here to discuss you. Tell me about yourself Hiiro." Hiiro sighed. He hated shrinks. They always sounded so phony.

"What do you want to know?"

"Your past to begin with. Where did you grow up? Your family? What you do for a living and why you felt you needed to enroll yourself in this institution."

"I can't say much about my past. I don't have a family- I was raised by an old man who called himself J on L1. I fought in the Eve Wars- both of them. I came here because I promised a friend I would."

"You don't like to talk much hmm? Don't worry. So you say you promised a friend? Why?"

"He told me my violent tendencies could get dangerous." Hiiro snorted inwardly. If that wasn't the biggest lie he had ever told then he didn't know what was. His 'violent tendencies' were already dangerous… so dangerous that he had nearly killed one of his friends. 

"Yes, they could. Well, it's a good thing you came before you got out of hand and couldn't control yourself. We can discuss all of this, you know, motives for wanting to be violent, other ways to release anger and such, and you'll be good as new in a week."

"Fine." Hiiro submitted.

"Well then. Now that we've met and introduced each other, we can discuss your schedule. As you may have been told, we like to keep busy around here. It helps to take the minds off of some of our patient's problems, as well as gives us perspective into the way their minds work on an everyday basis. I assume you probably will want some time alone… that's fine. But I will ask that you participate in most of the activities going on."

"Fine."

"Wonderful. To start you off with, we have art class this afternoon and every night after dinner we show movies. I believe they're showing a romantic comedy tonight. Something called… '10 Things I Hate About You'. We let the patients take turns picking the movies, this happened to be Serena's night to chose as a matter of fact. Anyway. Tomorrow in the morning we are offering a self-defense class… it's a new idea that another of my patients asked me to try out. I liked the idea."

"You aren't worried a crazy person will hurt themselves or another?"

"Well, yes and no. You see, not all crazy people go around muttering to themselves and hearing voices in their heads. A lot do, but not all. A few are simply misguided people who have episodes once in a while. We also have a few people who are anorexic or have tried suicide, or drug overdoses, or… I think we even have a kleptomaniac and a pyromaniac, though they aren't my patients. Anyway, they are all quite capable of doing normal things in everyday life, but they have a few more problems than everyone else, so they're here and not out there. 

"Most of them are sane enough to take a self-defense course and understand why it's being taught and when to use the moves. And they do need to know how to defend themselves sometime. It'll be good for them."

"Aren't you afraid they'll be able to use the techniques on your nurses if they don't want to do something?"

"No. Our nurses have been put through a great deal of grueling training, most of which includes dealing with unwilling patients who are physically incredibly strong. They'll be able to prevent anything from happening."

"Hnn."

"Anyway. Tomorrow afternoon we'll be playing cards, so you can skip that if you would like."

"Hnn."

"And… I think that's about it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, one of the nurses, or even another patient. They won't bite your head off, and most of them know the rules fairly well."

"Fine." Both Hiiro and the doctor rose. 

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow Hiiro." Hiiro simply nodded and turned to leave. This doctor was at least semi-interesting to listen to when he rambled. Hiiro frowned. He shouldn't care. It didn't matter.

Walking down the halls, Hiiro found himself lost. Where was he? All of the walls looked the same: white. Wherever he turned, white. It was making him sick, actually. It was so bright and blaring. Why were mental hospitals colored? He felt dizzy, so he stopped and leaned against the wall for support.

"The walls'll do that to you. It's all in the color." A dark voice seemed to laugh at him. Hiiro looked up. In front of him was a petite girl with long golden locks and large, sapphire eyes. She was dressed in all white, but Hiiro knew she couldn't be a nurse. She actually looked somewhat familiar. "They figure that if you're not crazy when you first come in here, they'll make you crazy by the time you leave."

"Who…"

"Serena. We met earlier. You probably didn't get a good look in that office though. I keep telling doctor Carl he needs to put more lighting in there." His eyes lit up in recognition. But he had thought she had brown hair. Must have been the light. She smirked again. Hiiro didn't like her smirking at him. It was like she was laughing at something he didn't know about. But he needed her help to find his way again.

"Can you tell me where room 26 is?"

"I can."

"Well?"

"I can tell you. I didn't say I would."

"Will you tell me?" Hiiro grumbled. She was a comedian too? This girl was everything- first she was sarcastic, now she was trying to be funny. 

"Yes. You need to go back the way you came, take your first left, and then the second left. Your room will be down that hall."

"Hnn." He grunted rudely.

"Whatever. I don't need some psycho near me." She clipped. Then she turned on her heel and walked away. Psycho? She thought he was the psycho? At least he hadn't been dragged into the institution. At least he had come of his own will. She, on the other hand, was probably being forced to stay. Oh yes, and she was _so_ much more mentally stable than he was.

As he walked back to his room, Hiiro passed a large set of double doors. Curiosity got the better of him and he opened one of the doors and looked in. It was the art class the doctor had mentioned. People in the room were working with clay, paintings, models, and other art supplies.

"Hiiro isn't it?" One of the nurses approached him. "Come on in and join us. We're just in the middle of art class."

"No…"

"Come on, it'll be fun." The nurse chided with a stern grin. Hiiro felt obligated. Stepping into the room, he took in his surroundings quickly. His soldier's instincts told him to search the room for any and all means of escape before he moved to do anything.

"So Hiiro." The nurse chattered. "What would you like to do? You can paint, or mold clay, or build, or…"

"Nothing."

"You can't do 'nothing'. This is art Hiiro! Art is another way we can express ourselves. Give it a go! It's fun." The nurse chirped cheerfully. Hiiro looked at her. At one time she must have been a patient in the institution, because she was too… expressive… to be normal in Hiiro's mind. 

"Why don't you grab a seat at the table and try something?"

"Fine." 'Anything to get you off my back!' Hiiro's mind screamed.

"Great! What would you like to try?"

"I'll draw." Hiiro muttered, not really caring. He supposed he could put this time to use and try sketching out a few new ideas he had had for improving Wing Zero. He wanted add a new set of guns near the shoulders of the mobile suit. He also wanted to find a way to increase the amount of fuel he could carry.

Taking a seat near a large window, Hiiro sat and waited patiently until the nurse brought him a pad of paper and a set of pencils. Soon Hiiro became involved in his etchings and forgot the room full of people around him. Beginning with the schematics of the original, he flipped in-between it and the new model he was trying to construct. Finally out frustration, he gave up. Crumpling the new drawing into a ball, he hurled it away from him and bent his head down to start again. Just as he began to get back into his drawing world, he felt something hit him smack dab in the middle of his forehead.

Picking up the crumpled ball of paper, he opened it and realized it was the same one he had thrown earlier. But there was a note scribbled on the bottom corner.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, it's rude to throw paper, or didn't anyone ever tell you?" He stared at the note and blinked. And blinked again. Then he whipped his head up to see who had thrown the paper ball. Across the table from him sat one figure that was beginning to become very familiar. *

~~~Hey! PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you guys think! Much love, Vixen~~~


	4. Bunnies, Rainbows, and Black Paint

Chapter Four: Bunnies, Rainbows, and Black Paint 

*"You know, before you go throwing paper around, you should look to see where it's going to land." Said the smirking blonde woman before him.

"Hnn."

"My, my, my. Aren't you rude?"

"Hnn."

"Well, that's fine. Be your rude self. They'll only think it's part of your mental problem, and add it to the long list of things they want to cure your of."

"Hnn."

"I really don't like you."

"You don't have to."

"Shut up and stay out of my face you psycho." She muttered, rolling her eyes. She'd give him once last chance to respond decently.

"Hnn." 

"A grunter. Very well." Serena narrowed her eyes at him and glared darkly. He'd lost his chance. "Watch your back creep." Hiiro raised his eyebrows. _She_ was telling _him_ to watch _his_ back? It was almost ironic. He was constantly watching his front, back, and sides anyway, not to mention did she really think she could do something to hurt him? She was a weak little girl; there was no possible way she could do anything. But when he felt her eyes still blazing, molten pits of sapphire eating into his face, he knew she was a lot more unpredictable than he thought.

"Serena?" A nurse tapped Serena on her shoulder. Hiiro almost heaved a sigh of relief. She had stopped looking at him! Thank God! 

"What are you up to?" The nurse went on, trying to act interested in Serena's work. She picked up on the syrupy voice immediately. Looking up briefly, Serena examined the nurse. She must have been new- the other nurses knew to keep their distance and not to baby her. Or else.

"Look. I know when I'm being patronized and I don't like it. Either back off, or pay the consequences."

"Pay the consequences?" The nurse laughed. "Oh dear, don't you worry about the consequences! Now, show me what you've done!" 

"Ok!" Serena's dark face became very cheerful. Hiiro looked up hearing her voice change tones and watched. "Well, see, I'm a painter. I like to paint lots of happy things, like bunnies and rainbows, and bunnies jumping over rainbows! But I'm just not very talented." Now Hiiro's gaze shifted to Serena's canvas. It was painted all black- no color what so ever. He vaguely wondered if she was a schizophrenic person, and this was a new personality. It would certainly explain her sudden mood swings.

"I think you're very talented! I can really see the horses and rainbows. And is that a flower?" The nurse asked patiently with a smile that _must_ have been making her face numb.

"Why, yes, it _is_ a flower!" Serena jumped up and down, giggling and clapping. "I'm so glad you noticed! Do you see the sun too?"

"Sun?"

"Oh yes! Look closer! It's in there!" Serena nodded smiling. As the nurse leaned in to look harder at the all black for the sun, Serena stepped behind her. 

"Or didn't you see it behind the crossbones and death threats?" Leaning over and whispering loudly in the nurse's ear, Serena made sure her voice became dark again. Then she grabbed one of the plastic containers of black paint on the table beside her and dumped it atop the nurse. A loud, frightened wail erupted and the pale nurse covered in black paint stepped back from the canvas and looked at Serena with confusion and fear evident in her expression.

"I told you- consequences. You should really think before you act." Serena chirped, smiling sweetly.

"What's going on… oh no, not another one!" A new nurse rushed into the art room. She was taller than the other one, with big, broad shoulders and a barrel chest. At best one could have described her as big, and at worst she could be described as a man. As the new nurses stepped between Serena and the paint-splattered woman, Serena growled, smile fading as quickly as it had appeared.

"And here I thought I was rid of you for a few days."

"Nice try Serena. You won't be rid of me for quite a while if you keep this behavior up. Anger management is key to getting yourself on the right track."

"I forgot." Serena rolled her big, blue eyes.

"You seem to forget an awful lot."

"Look here, _Big Berga_. If you're going to have new nurses come into this godforsaken nuthouse to care for us certified loons, you should warn them about each of us and our conditions before they go messing about. Your stupid new nurse didn't know how to butt out- much less how to stop patronizing when asked politely. She got what she deserved, end of story."

"There was no need to go overboard. Telling another nurse would have been just fine. And my name, Serena, is not 'Big Berga'. I have told you time and time again not to use that nickname- it confuses some of the other patients."

"So sorry, _Nurse Berga_."

"Bertha." The nurse narrowed her eyes, and Serena narrower hers. A staring contest ensued for a few moments, before the nurse pulled out. "This is ridiculous. I'm the nurse, and you are the patient. I shouldn't have to be arguing with you Serena."

"Yes you should. Otherwise I would be cured, and you could send me home."

"But we _want_ you to be cured. We _want_ to send you home."

"Bull. You want to keep me locked up so you can milk my God-awful whore of a mother for money."

"You are pushing the line Serena. Do you really want to be confined to your room?"

"Confine me. I always get out. Face it, _Big Berga_: there isn't anything you can do to stop me. You can try all you want, but you'll never break me."

"That's it Serena. I'm confining you for the rest of the night, and you have to eat twice your normal rations for dinner." For once, Serena stopped. Her mouth remained closed, and two male nurses grabbed her arms gently to lead her out of the room.

"That girl… she causes more problems than a national disaster. Are you alright?" The burly nurse asked the other nurse, who was now trying to wipe the paint off of her face.

"Yes, thank you. I was only trying to be supportive of her artwork. We were taught to be that way, and it never hurt before…"

"Usually that is the case. But Serena… she's in a league all her own."

"But she seems so normal. She obviously is a very social girl, and so pretty…"

"Social, yes. Pretty, yes, the girl's gorgeous by most standards. But she's worse than Shakespeare's shrew in disposition."

"What made her this way? Is she a schizophrenic, or is it a result of her past?"

"The doctors still aren't sure. While she loves to argue, Serena becomes tight-lipped during doctor visits apparently. She hasn't spoken more than one or two helpful sentences in the three months she's been here. But I get the feeling it's her past. She's an anorexic bulimic too. It's the only threat that works in her- the threat of more food." 

Hiiro listened to the two nurses as they spoke in hushed tones in the corner of the art room. Wasn't it dangerous to a person's psyche to be threatening them the way they were threatening Serena? By forcing her to eat more and knowing she hated it, what made them think she would _want_ to eat again outside of the asylum? And wasn't that their ultimate goal? To make a person like that girl fit for society outside of these damned white walls?

"You must be our new addition, Hiiro Yui." He refocused. The nurse Serena had nicknamed 'Big Berga' was standing in front of him, hands on her hips.

"Yes."

"Well. I'm sorry about that display, but I'm afraid I'll have to warn you, we have one or two of those kinds of incidents a day around here. We would move you to a different art class, but you'll only end up seeing it another place anyway."

"Doesn't seeing her get upset bother the other patients; the ones less stable than she is?"

"Once or twice." Bertha frowned. Hiiro Yui was a perceptive man. Why was he here? She would have to remember to read through his record closely… "But each time we've been able to calm them down. We don't put Serena with groups of our patients that can't handle outbursts like that. In fact, the majority of this class right now all have anger management problems, just like Serena, so most of them are understanding of the outbursts."

"And having all of the angry patients together doesn't cause a riot?" Hiiro narrowed his eyes. He had always thought that one bad seed would set off a whole chain of bad events.

"N, No." Bertha narrowed her eyes to match his. "Mr. Yui, you seem quite coherent and you have an acute sense of detail. Why _are_ you here?"

"Anger management."

"I see." She hadn't expected that. Looking down at her watch indiscreetly, she sighed. "Well, art is over. Dinner is in an hour. I'll see you then. Have a nice afternoon."

"Yeah." He forced himself not to grunt… he couldn't let them think he was more antisocial then he was- that he was more of a failure than he was. 

Hiiro stood from the studio stool he had been perched on and ripped the drawing of his original Gundam out of the sketchbook. No evidence…And he ripped it in half, then into fourths, then eights, and then threw it into the garbage. 

)(

Serena rolled her eyes and blew her bangs out of her face. She was going to get out one of these days. She hated this… hated being confined. These people had no goddamned idea. None. Pieces of lying, lazy, sacks of crap. They should have left her there. The cops should have left her lying on that floor… then she wouldn't have to be dealing with this. 

She was a failure. A real one. She had failed at staying thin, failed at keeping a boyfriend, failed at school, failed at family, failed at life. And then she failed at death! It was laughable! Lord! And people wondered why she was unhappy. If they had failed as many times at as many things as she had, they would be depressed too.

They had no fucking right to decide what she did with her life! If they cared so much about helping her, if God cared so damn much, why hadn't he helped her before her life had gotten so screwed up? He was lazy? He didn't care? Well, that much was obvious. No one really cared. If God had cared, why had he made he so fat? 

One hundred and four pounds! She had gained nearly seven pounds in the last four weeks. It really made her sick, the way these people force-fed her. She wanted to throw up. But if she did that, they'd go back to watching her constantly, leaving a guard at her door to watch her as she slept, and probably even the liquid food, which was force than being force-fed the solid crap. 

So she would play along with these sick freaks. Then why they released her, she'd hightail it the hell away. Somewhere she couldn't be found. Her mother wouldn't miss her- hell, she was surprised her whore of a mother had cared enough to call the bloody cops the first time. It wasn't like she had been stealing her mother's dust again- she hadn't done that in years- it didn't give her the same high, so why should she waste her time with it? 

It was all so useless. If she could have a chance, go back and do it again, she wouldn't fail. Not this time, Lord no! Not again! She'd learned her lesson. No, no, this time she would go out in style, and she would succeed. But she would have to wait a little longer. Just a little longer, until she could get out of this nut house. 

After all: she wasn't crazy. She was healthy as a horse.


	5. 11 Things I Hate About You

Chapter Five: 11 Things I Hate About You

*"Alright Serena. Tonight you're supposed to eat two helpings instead of one, so batten down the hatches and open wide." The nutritionist smiled sadly at the blonde who sat before him at the table. 

Serena rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. When she inhaled the steam and scent of the plate of food in front of her, she nearly gagged. She was gaining calories just by smelling this stuff! Looking around, she had to smirk. She was the only one in the small dining room, aside from the nutritionist, but she could hear the others eating in the room next door.

"I'm not all that hungry thanks." She nodded, standing. The nutritionist let out a low chuckle and grabbed her by her shoulders. He forced her to sit down.

"I'm new here, Serena, but I was warned very thoroughly about you by a paint splattered nurse earlier this afternoon. It seems you liked the color black on her? Well, she might have been a pushover, but I'm not. You need to eat Serena."

"I'm not hungry. I'm sorry to have wasted your time having you make that wonderful looking… food, but I just don't feel like it."

"And I don't feel like sitting here all night. But I will until every bite of food on that plate is gone." He smiled. She looked up at him and studied him with her cerulean eyes.

"Sit away, cause it looks like we aren't going anywhere."

"Fine." The man sat back in his chair across the table from her and crossed his arms in front of him. Serena pulled her legs up and sat Indian-style in her chair. A staring contest ensued. Finally she blinked.

The she smiled evilly. "This could go on all night you know." 

"I already told you I was prepared to sit here all night."

"This is bull. If you're so bent on making food, why don't _you_ eat it? You're not fat." Now she crossed her arms, looking at him expectantly.

"No, I'm not. But I'm not skinny like you either. I like the way I am."

"And I like me too. I just needed to get a little thinner."

"You're too thin."

"I'm fine." She looked him up and down again. "Speaking of which, you are fine too." She winked, and he grinned.

"You aren't exactly my type."

"Oh, I see. You swing that way. Why _is_ it all the good ones are always either gay or taken?"

"No. I just prefer my women plump." He grinned. Then he dug into his pocket and pulled out a picture. He slid it across the table, and Serena picked it up and looked at it.

"She's fat. I mean, seriously obese."

"She's my girlfriend, and I love her, all one hundred and sixty-three pounds of her. She's beautiful. Men don't want sticks Serena, we want someone we can hold and know she won't break in half. We want a woman who we can cuddle with, not be poked by her bones that are sticking out everywhere because she's so thin."

"Well, you aren't the majority of men."

"I am as a matter of fact. Haven't you ever heard the song 'I Like Big Butts'?"

"Sounds vaguely familiar. But that's only two men. Back home I had guys falling over themselves for me."

"Well, that's not the way the real world works. Now eat up."

"You know, I don't get anything if I eat except few extra pounds."

"Isn't that motivation enough? As soon as you reach your weight goal, you get out of here right?"

"Yeah, right, I wish! But even if that were true, I want immediate gratification."

"You want me to bribe you into eating."

"All I want is for you to convince Big Berga to let me go to the movie tonight. That doesn't sound hard, does it?"

"I don't know… I've met that woman, and she doesn't look too easy to convince."

"Do it and I'll eat three helpings." Serena offered generously.

"Three?" He raised his eyebrows. "Deal. Eat three right now, and I'll get you to the movie."

"Deal." And Serena grudgingly picked up a fork and shoved some mashed potatoes into her mouth.

)(

"You know, maybe these dishes aren't clean. Maybe I should get some soap and a scrub brush and scour them. And is this table clean? Imagine how many germs- bacteria, fungus- did they use sponges to clean it? You know sponges spread bacteria. I wonder if they used a disinfectant. Maybe I should get a roll of paper towels and clean this table. And the silver wear! It needs-"

"Wayne! Shut it! Everything's clean!"

"How do you know it's clean Jake? What if it only looks clean? What if-" Hiiro looked at the three boys who had chosen to sit at the table in the cafeteria with him. Originally he had planned to sit alone, but his mind had told him to fit in. This was like an undercover operation. He needed to blend in, become part of the group, so he didn't stick out among the people when the doctors looked at him. But now he was thinking maybe he should stick out- as a _normal_ human being. At least, as normal as a pilot like himself could get.

I'm sorry new guy. Wayne's an obsessive compulsive if you couldn't tell. He's always worried about cleaning and stuff. Hey, are you going to eat that?" But before Hiiro could answer, the boy was stealing his roll from his plate.

"Yes." Hiiro responded without thinking.

"Ok, sorry! Look, my name's Jake. What's your name?"

"Hnn."

"Look, I'm sorry I asked about the food. Now what's your name?" Hiiro looked at him and for a split second, Quatre flashed through his mind. The boy had the same innocence about him.

"Hiiro Yui."

"Nice to meet you Hiiro. So what're you in for?"

"Anger management."

"That's solid. Me? I'm a kleptomaniac. Yeah. Sorry about your bread by the way. I can't help it. I'm working on it though. Oh, and across from us is Tom. He doesn't talk much. He's a pyromaniac. But he's been clean of fire for… how long Tom?"

"No fire for three weeks… three weeks, no fire… No orange flames, flicker, flicker, flicker…"

At this point Hiiro felt his spine tingle. Never before had he had to deal with such eccentric people. They were… out of the norm. It seriously was starting to scare him. Him, who had gone through hell training to be a soldier. It was rare that he had any real social contact with people, and he had a hard enough time dealing with them as it was. But now he was being thrown into a place where people were not as understanding of his background as the others had been. These people didn't know about his life, what he had gone through and seen, and they didn't know how to put him at ease as much as his old comrades did. These people didn't know how to hide their flaws- no, they flaunted them. And it scared him, the Perfect, fallen, failure.

"Hey Hiiro, you done?" Jake asked.

"Hnn."

"Great! The movie starts in a few minutes, let's go get seats." The boy reached out to grab Hiiro's arm, and he pulled it away quickly. 

"No contact." He muttered.

"Right… well, let's go. I heard Scrawny picked the movie- it's going to be a good one."

"Serena picked it." Hiiro told him without thinking.

"Yeah. We call her Scrawny. It's because she's so thin." Jake told him laughing "She doesn't like it- she thinks she's fat and thinks it's mean that we're teasing her about being thin. We just think it's funny."

"She always smells like soap. I love the smell of soap. I love Serena's smell." Wayne added. Hiiro looked at him from the corner of his eye, but said nothing.

"Wayne, you love Serena."

"She's always clean. She smells good." The boy paused. "And she's pretty." He tacked on the end.

"Her eyes look like fire. Blue fire." Tom added.

"They're so weird." Jake muttered to Hiiro. "They like the girl. I think she's mean."

"She's mean." Hiiro agreed unconsciously. They stopped in front of the art room and Tom opened the door for them all. When they took seats in the last row, Hiiro made sure to get the aisle seat so he could after the movie begun. He wasn't staying with the crazies any longer than he had to.

Soon the lights were dimmed and the movie began. Just as the final credit finished, the door behind them opened and a small figure appeared in the doorway. Hiiro looked to see who it was, then turned around quickly. Hadn't she been banned from her activities tonight? Obviously she had managed to either sneak in, or to talk her way out of punishment. 

"Hi Wayne, hi Tom! Aren't you two looking cute tonight? Oh, hello there _Jake_." She smiled and waved at them, took a moment to glare at Jake, and ignored Hiiro. Then she sat in the row in front of them and made sure to flip her hair over her shoulder in a very innocent but provocative manner. Hiiro decided she had talked her way out of punishment.

As the movie was just ending, Hiiro noticed Jake was moving beside him. He concentrated and focused hard in the dark- to find Jake was stuffing something into his pockets. But why… Hiiro vaguely remembered him saying he was a kleptomaniac… ok, so he was stealing something. Something that looked like a long, thick, clump of golden… _hair_? He was stealing Serena's hair! Shoving it into his pockets! 

"Stop." Hiiro whispered to him.

"What? Oh, this? It's not mine!" Jake flared up, defensively. "You! You were the one who was stealing it! Not me!" And he shoved the clump of hair into Hiiro's hand- and pulled on Serena's head as he did it.

"Ouch!" Serena yelped out loud. The nurse that had been standing near the door flipped on the lights, and Serena turned around to find Hiiro with her hair in his hand, and Jake pointing at him.

"He's stealing your hair Scrawny!"

"Let my hair go! Now!" Serena yelled at Hiiro. He felt like… like he had just been caught doing something very naughty. Her eyes made him feel so guilty. So, so guilty… and it hadn't even been his fault!

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Sorry? You're sorry? I don't give a damned whether you're sorry or not! You pulled my hair! Let it go!" Hiiro automatically dropped the clump of gold-spun locks.

"I didn't do it!" Jake kept repeating.

"No, Hiiro did." Serena growled. "I hate you! In fact, I hate you a lot! I hate your hair, your eyes, your nose, your hands, I hate your clothes and your mouth, and I hate your shoes and your personality, and your neck and your ears, and I hate _you_! You're a psycho! Freak! Stay away from me!" She was livid. He made her _mad_. 

"I didn't do it!" Jake stated.

"Is there a problem in here?"

"Big Berga, he…"

"Making trouble again Serena? That's enough. I let you come because Keith thought you deserved to, but you're only a troublemaker. Come on Serena, bedtime, now."

"But I…" Serena's mouth hung wide open. Then she gave up, knowing it was no use. There was no use in fighting Big Berga. She stood slowly, and began walking to the door. As she passed Hiiro, she frowned and glared darkly.

"I hate you. Watch your back hair thief!"

"I'm innocent." Hiiro muttered as she was led out. Great. *


	6. Defense or Offense

Chapter Six: Defense or Offense

*When Hiiro awoke the next morning, the events from the night before flashed in his memory. Great. He had a crazy girl angry with him. But she _was_ scrawny, the way her nickname said. What could she possibly do to him? Nothing. He was a pilot. And even if he was a failure as a soldier for too much emotion, he still had strength. He was strong, and it would be no problem, he was sure, to hold off a little girl such as she was.

Getting up, he quickly showered and dressed, and then walked down to the cafeteria, where he picked up an apple. He hated breakfast; it always made him feel dirty and too full in the mornings. But he didn't want them to think he had an eating disorder either. 

"Mr. Yui." He looked up as Nurse Bertha approached him. 

"Yes?"

"May I ask you a few questions?"

"Last night I was sitting and watching the movie. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and saw Jake stuffing her hair into his pocket. When I said something to him, he denied he was doing anything, gave me the hair, and must have tugged on Serena's head when he did it. The lights went on and I looked guilty."

"Very thorough Mr. Yui. Any other details you think could be considered useful?"

"No."

"Well. You seem to be a man of few words, so I'll leave you be. Thank you for your help and have a nice breakfast."

"Hnn." Hiiro grunted and the nurse turned and went off. He shrugged slightly and decided to go through the day's events in his mind. First was a visit with that shrink from yesterday. Then was the self-defense course he wanted to watch but not participate in, and then lunch. After that, he didn't know- he hadn't been told that much of the schedule that far in advance. Finishing his apple, he threw the core away and walked back to his room. 

Sitting on the bed, he waited quietly until he heard a knock on his door. "Yes?"

"Mr. Yui? You're appointment with Doctor Carl is now." The nurse chirped. He stood and opened the door. Nodding to her, he allowed her to lead him to the shrink's office.

"Mr. Yui! Welcome back! Sit down, sit down." The doctor implored him. Hiiro sat in one of the grandiose armchairs in front of the doctor's desk. The room sill seemed poorly lit, despite the fact that a new lamp had been added since the day before. "Well Hiiro. Tell me how things are going."

"Fine."

"Just fine? I hear tell that you've had a few encounters with Serena?"

"A few." He conceded. 

"And you aren't riled by her?"

"No."

"Congratulations. Not many can say that." The doctor smiled. "Well. It seems like you're adjusting just fine otherwise. Let's get right to the heart of the matter. You're here for anger management."

"Yes."

"Well, let me tell you how this works. I'm going to pick through your brain, ask you a bunch of personal, if not embarrassing questions, and try to figure out why you have a hard time with your temper. After that, we can discuss ways to diffuse it."

"Fine."

"Well, let's get started. Hiiro, you mentioned a little bit about yourself yesterday. You said you don't have a family. Who raised you? J?"

"Doctor J."

"And this doctor, did he treat you well?" Hiiro didn't answer right away. What was he supposed to say; that J beat him so he would become man enough to save the Earth? What a joke. No, he had to be more general…

"He treated me well enough."

"Did you always have enough to eat? A place to sleep? Schooling?"

"Yes."

"Did he treat you well? No hitting?"

"Only when I was bad."

"He beat you?"

"Punished me."

"You know spanking can be considered child abuse Hiiro."

"He didn't spank."

"You said…"

"He punished." The doctor looked at the boy before him deeply. Hiiro's head was lowered, his shoulders slumped, his eyes vacant.

"I see." He made a note. "When did you leave the care of the doctor Hiiro?"

"I left when I was fifteen. I joined the war and fought as a soldier." Hiiro grunted. Was that too much information? He hoped not. But he needed this cured too, didn't he? He couldn't let Duo or another friend suffer again because of his failure as a soldier. He needed to tell this doctor so he could get fixed. He hoped the doctor wasn't a liability.

"Which side did you fight with in the war? You said you were from L1, but the only soldiers from L1 I remember were the White Fang."

"I was not with the White Fang or OZ. Both were wrong."

"Then who…?"

"I am not liable to give that information out." Hiiro stated darkly. Whatever the doctor had been thinking, he gulped. Hiiro Yui was not someone to mess with.

"Al, Alright. And how long were you a pilot?"

"Three years. I'm currently on the Preventer's payroll, but I'm not a solid member."

"Is that your chosen profession?"

"No. I work part time for a computer company. I hack systems and tell them where they need to improve security."

"Then you're good with computers?"

"Yes."

"Do you have enough money to live on right now? Do you have a home?"

"Yes and yes."

"Very well. What about your social life? Do have a girlfriend? Friends?"

"A girl once stalked me. She's given up."

"Well that can't have been fun."

"Hnn." The doctor had to grin. Hiiro was quite a character, whether he knew it or not. 

"And your friends Hiiro? What about them? You say one of them asked you to come here? They must care about you a lot to ask you to get help."  
"I have comrades from the war."

"But they have a great deal of influence on you. Otherwise why would you be here?"

"I hit my friend. I couldn't control my emotions. I need to control them." Hiiro looked at his hands in blank disgust. The same hands that had nearly beaten Duo to death… he was so undeserving. He was crazy.

"You want to control your emotions? Do you feel the need to control Hiiro?"

"If you are not in control, you fail. Failure is unacceptable." Hiiro stated darkly. The doctor's breath caught in his throat. Such a mindset could devastate Hiiro if he ever failed… and he had failed, otherwise he wouldn't be here… so he had to be emotionally unstable right now. This was good. Not good, but at least the doctor knew where he needed to work. Hiiro Yui was making progress. 

"Well Hiiro. I think that's enough for today. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Hiiro stood and walked silently out of the door.

"Oh, Hiiro, are you going to the self defense class?"

"To watch."

"Good. Have fun, and try not to worry about controlling anything. Just… let loose."

"Let loose." Hiiro repeated. "Hnn." And he closed the door behind him. Let loose? If he let loose… Did that doctor know what he was saying? If he let loose, he wouldn't be in control of his emotions. He would become more violent than he already was. He might have more fun… but his violent tendencies would be accentuated, wouldn't they? He thought they would.

Hiiro made his way to the courtyard he had seen yesterday, knowing that was where the self-defense lessons were going to be held. He could already see Jake and Tom- Wayne was sitting inside watching, trying to keep clean. There were four more boys he didn't know and three girls- Serena being one of them. But she stood off in the corner, unsocial with the rest of the group. 

"Alright!" Hiiro noted what must have been the instructor, and settled to watch. "Let's get into four lines! First well being stretching! Only stretch as far as you can right now, don't push it too hard, or you'll hurt yourselves!" The man who was leading them was obviously enjoying this a little too much, Hiiro noted.

As they began to learn left cross, right cross, left jab, right jab, left hook, right hook, and a few of the kicks that went with the punches, Hiiro had to smile slightly. They were a sight. Half of them weren't following directions at all. They were simply kicking and punching when and how they wanted to. It didn't matter how many times they were corrected, they went back to doing it wrong soon afterwards. 

Then there was the mediocre group- the three girls, and a few of the boys. They were able to keep up, but occasionally slipped or had to stop to catch their breaths. Hiiro noticed Serena had to stop fairly often, and usually held her hand over her chest when she did, as if she had slight chest pains. But she always bounced back with vigor soon afterwards.

Then there were three or four boys who could keep up and land perfect kicks and punches every time. Tom was one. It was fun to watch them getting so deeply involved in their movement that they hardly noticed what was going on around them. He wondered how they would fair if he fought them, but shook his head. That wouldn't be a fair fight- he was too good.

"Alright everyone! That's it! This class is over! A few of the people cheered, but most of them groaned. Hiiro nodded and stood from his spot.

"Look, it's Hiiro Yui." He turned around to face Serena. She was sweating profusely and holding her chest lightly with her hand. "Too good to join us Mr. Yui? Already know everything here is to know about kickboxing, do you?"

"Yes." Hiiro answered truthfully. 

"I doubt that. Why not spar one of us then. Then we'll see how good you are."

"Now come on guys! There will be no 'sparing' between you." The instructor stepped into the middle to mediate.

"Because Hiiro can't." Serena pushed.

"I can." He stated proudly.

"Then let's see it!"

"Serena, enough!" The instructor clipped.

"No. I'll show her. But I won't fight her."

"Coward."

"You aren't to my skill level."

"If you two are so dead set against this, Mr. Yui, you may fight me." The instructor offered, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Fine." Hiiro and Serena chorused. They glared at each other, but Serena backed away to give Hiiro and the instructor room. Hiiro and the instructor bowed, and not three punches and two kicks later, Hiiro claimed victory over the instructor with a subtle ease and grace he had practiced all those years training to be a Gundam Pilot.

"Very good Mr. Yui!" The instructor claimed as he sat up. "You have wonderful skill and form. How long have you been studying the arts?"

"Fourteen years." The instructor whistled.

"That's a long time in a life."

"Hnn."

"Well, I still say he's a coward for not fighting me." He heard Serena's voice in the background. He tried to stay in control. He did. But the doctor's words rang in his ears. 'Be loose' he had said. So Hiiro wound up and took a swing for Serena. She saw his arm coming and instinctively sidestepped it. Then she grabbed his fist and used his momentum to pull him forward and flip him over onto his back. Hiiro lay very still for a moment, not sure how she had done it.

"It, it worked?" She gasped. "I didn't think it would work! I saw it on TV!" Then she began laughing. "Hey, he isn't a coward! He's a wimp!" Hiiro growled.

"Freeze! Mr. Yui and Miss Tsukino! What were you two thinking!" They both turned to face Nurse Bertha.

"You two are going to come with me- right now!" Her tight lips and angry eyes told both Hiiro and Serena not to fool with her- she looked too mad to be playing jokes on.*

~~~Check in: Well? Anyone have any comments? Too dark? Too light? Too eccentric? Lol. I hope you like it! Much love, Vixen ~~~


	7. Twister

Chapter Seven: Twister

*They had been sitting in the stuffy office for almost two hours. Carl was frustrated. He had never had anything this bad happen between two patients before. Once in a while he had a patient who lost their temper and took a swing at a nurse, or insulted one, but never had two patients fought the way Hiiro and Serena had. He had ended up canceling his daily meetings to deal with the two. But they had been silent since they had been brought in, something that did not bode well for him.

"One of you needs to speak to the other sooner or later. We can't have you two arguing around here the way you have been the last two days. It's disturbing to the other patients and disrupting both of your healing processes."

"I hate to break it to you doctor, but I really can't get along with him. He's a prick in general. Can't you just separate us?" Serena begged, breaking the silence.

"No. Serena, if I do that, you'll never learn how to get along with other people you don't like in the real world.

"Bull."

"Serena. You don't have a choice. You and Hiiro need to learn to get along. Hiiro?"

"Hnn." As far as he could see, he had followed the doctor's orders and nothing had happened but what he had expected. He would need to learn to re-harness his emotions, or else he would hurt more people. Well, that's what he got for trusting a doctor. Besides. He wasn't going to let Serena get to him any more. He just wasn't.

"Very well. How about a friendly game between you two to call it even?" Carl suggested. "Teamwork will help bring you two together to at least tolerate each other."

"Aren't you worried about hurting our sensitive psyches by forcing us together?" Serena asked, trying to turn the doctor's words on him.

"No. _Sensitive_ as your psyches are, I feel it will be good for the both of you to have this experience. You need to begin practicing how to rebuild your relationships in life."

"Bull."

"You have a new favorite phrase today Serena." The doctor smirked and watched as his patient frowned and mimicked him. "Now that you're finished making faces, Serena, I'll leave you two to your game. Play nice now." And the doctor stood and left, locking the door behind him from the outside.

For a moment there was silence. Neither Serena nor Hiiro moved, taking in everything their situation could offer. Hiiro was nearly sure he had heard the door lock, and Seren could swear the room was suddenly getting smaller and smaller. As the atmosphere became tenser, each of them looked for a way to diffuse the situation.

Serena, for her part, looked longingly at the small garbage can beside the fine mahogany desk. It was so tempting, just sitting there, practically empty. And she felt so gross and fat, almost dirty because of the food she had been forced to eat earlier in the morning. That, plus the stress of this whole situation…

Hiiro watched her eyes fluttered between the garbage can by the desk and herself and wondered. What was she thinking? He knew she wouldn't pick it up and hit him. From what he had observed, she didn't have that many violent tendencies, and this was not a situation that would push her to them. Not yet anyway. Still, what could she do with a- he watched as she moved towards the can and bent over, making sure to hold he hair back out of her face. Hiiro watched her heave for a moment, then realized what was happening.

"Stop." She surprisingly did.

"Why's that?" She wanted to know.

"Don't you feel gross and empty after you throw up?" His own question surprised him.

"I feel gross and full now. At least if I throw it up I'll stay thin." She told him, as if it were obvious. 

"But it's not healthy."

"Way to sound like that damned shrink. And anyway, why do you give a damn? Keep your nose out of my business. Why did you think I was here, on a vacation?"

"Crazy." He answered simply. She stared at him, stood, and slapped him. 

"Keep that mouth of your shut." Maybe he had been wrong about those violent tendencies?

"Hnn." He grumbled. But the doctor had given an order. Mission parameters, if he was to take it as a mission… "Mission parameters state we are to play a board game and get along." She snorted.

"Mission parameters? What are you on soldier boy? LSD? Is that why you're here?" 

"No." Hiiro had the decency to blush very lightly. "I do not use drugs."

"So you've always hallucinated you were a soldier. Great. Even I don't have this many issues." He growled.

"I do not hallucinate. I was part of the Eve Wars. I'm here for a routine check in my mental well-being." Well, it was partially true. And anyway, she didn't need to hear how truly mental and insane he was- it would ruin his image. 

"Well, well, well. Fine Mister Perfect. Get your damned game and we'll play. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we leave." She sighed.

"Fine." Hiiro moved to the bookshelf on his right and opened the cupboard doors below it. There was a stack of classic inkblot cards, as well as a few empty manila envelopes. The shelf below it had a stack of puzzles and a game of dominos. 

"Dominos?" He asked her. She shook her head vigorously. 

"Not a chance. More black and white? You've got to be kidding me. Pick something with color Mr. Yui." He said nothing, but his eyes sparked briefly.

He completely agreed with her. More black and white indeed. But he couldn't see anything but puzzles or the dominos. The puzzles would take forever to put together- the smallest one had eight hundred pieces- plus he was sure she wouldn't appreciate them much either. Finally another colorful game caught his attention. Dragging it out, he shuddered.

"You can't be serious!" She began backing away and holding up her hands. "Not that. Anything but that."

"Rather spend hours putting together a puzzle, play dominos, or this, you decide."

"But we'll have to touch!" She shivered and crossed her arms in front of her, as if the protect herself.

"You did ask for color." He pointed out.

"I don't want you near me. No touching. We'll put a puzzle together." She decided.

"Fine." He muttered. She paused.

"You're agreeing with me?"

"Yes."

"No. You can't. That's against the rules."

"What rules?" Now Hiiro was confused. He couldn't place her. Forever, as long as he could remember, he had been able to at least get a sense of a person's personality and character. But this girl kept changing so fast that as soon as he had categorized her, he needed to begin again. He had thought she was harmless; she had gotten him in trouble. He had thought she was nice enough; she had not only flipped him, but slapped him. He had thought she would want him to agree, and now here she was, telling him it was against the rules. What rules! Where was the justice in her? Where was her darned sanity!

"The rules!" She rolled her eyes. "Don't you know anything?" She sighed.

"I know enough. But this? No." He smirked.

"Well, for someone who thinks he's Perfect, this is a big surprise. Look, There are certain 'rules' that people play by in the world. We can't agree to disagree, we need to stay fighting until one of us wins, at which point the other can back down and leave the winner in peace."

"I never heard of those rules."

"Where've you been living your life?"

"In an MS."

"Whatever. Fine, we'll play twister. Just don't you touch me!"

"It's twister." He stated blankly.

"Yes?"

"Touching may be required."

"And _I_ may be required to slap you again if you touch me." Hiiro growled, but didn't reply. The thought of another slap made him angry for some reason. She thought she could get away with that attitude? Very well. He wouldn't touch her. Avoiding her piercing, gaze, he set up the game.

"Spin." He ordered. She looked at him as though she was about to say something, but pulled short and spun.

Serena had been tempted to tell Hiiro to spin, therefore start another argument, but she stopped in time. She would let Hiiro have his fun. She would humor him and see if he could really play without touching her. 

Taking the spinner from him, she flicked the arrow and watched it spin. It landed on left hand, red. Quietly she placed her hand on the red spot and let him take the spinner from her. He flicked it and watched as it landed on right foot, yellow. This would be easy; they were completely separated from each other.

A full hour later they found themselves in a very different position. Over the course of the game Serena had managed to have her left hand move to blue, to have both her left and right feet on yellow, and her right hand on green. She was, more or less, stretched across the mat. Hiiro had much the same problem. He was next to Serena, stretched out nearly identically except for his right hand, which was on red, and the fact that his stomach was facing the ceiling of the room. Both had long ago given up on the no touching rule- both wanted to win more than they cared about touching. But now they were also both physically exhausted.

"Give…up…Yui. You're not going to beat me." Serena grunted lightly.

"Hnn." Hiiro had never thought a game like Twister would be able to drag him down. How wrong he had been. "Just spin."

"Fine." She grumbled. Reaching over, she barely managed to spin the arrow. It read left foot green. She groaned in disappointment. Serena lifted her leg and slipped it under his body and tapped her foot down.

As he leg shifted, Hiiro tensed. Any slight weakness on his part could cause him to lose the game. What he hadn't counted on was her smooth, bare leg brushing against his own leg and moving across his back. For a moment he could feel his arms wobble and his skin burned from the sensation. She shifted one more time, trying to get somewhat more comfortable in her awkward position, then stilled.

"Your turn." She passed the spinner.

"Hnn."

"All that grunting is really getting annoying you know." Hiiro looked up at down at her. Was that so? He felt good. He felt… evil. And he smirked.

"Hnn."

"You did that on purpose!" She accused.

"Hnn." And he spun, fully aware of the disbelief on her face. The arrow had landed on left hand, red. He strained to look over at the red circles. It would take a quick move to flip so his belly was facing the floor and his left hand would be able to reach the red circles, but he thought he could manage it.

Serena watched carefully, knowing full well what Hiiro was thinking. He would have to turn and keep his feet and right hand in the same place, as well as put his hand on the red. He was going to have to flip and land perfectly. There was no way he could make that move! She was going to win! He would fall, and it would all be over. It served him right!

"Oh Mr. Perfect?" her sweet voice rang clear as a bell in his ears, breaking his concentration. "You'll never make it." *


	8. Perfection

**WARNING**: Dark content and some language. **Beware of R Rating**

Chapter Eight: Perfection

*Hiiro looked at her, thinking how evil she was. She was a bad, bad, evil girl! "Hnn." It was a desperate attempt to shut her up, and he knew she wouldn't fall for it.

"Say, or grunt, whatever you like, but you're going to fall!"

"No." He told her, beginning his tricky move. 

"Yes, you will. You won't be perfect anymore. You'll have lost." And the world blackened. Hiiro's senses shut down and for a moment he was numb. Perfect… he wasn't perfect, no, not by a long shot. He hadn't been perfect since the day he had first lost his temper and beaten Duo. He had nearly killed his best friend. And then he wavered, brushing his back against her leg.

Serena watched as the man beside her started to make his move. Just as he was about to move, it seemed as though he had frozen. She could see his muscles tense and the fire that had been lighting his oceanic eyes died. Had she caused the death of his surety? Of his fever to win? She watched on as he faltered and tipped. But he didn't fall- she did.

"Ahh!" She cried out as she went down. Hiiro, who had just regained control of himself, turned his head in time to see Serena tip and wobble, and then collapse below him. Only staying up long enough to see her hit the floor, he gave way and soon afterwards fell to land beside her on his back. They lay in a strange silence for a moment, Serena breathing heavily and Hiiro still trying to come to terms with himself.

"You win." She breathed finally to him.

"No. I lost a long time ago. I am not Perfect." She looked at him from the corner of her eye, and noticed he seemed to be in his own little world.

"No one's Perfect." She finally said to him.

"I was."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I would have hated to meet you when you thought you were Perfect."

"Why's that?" 

"Because if you have an ego this big now, it must have been larger than life back when you thought you couldn't screw up." She stated frankly, rolling onto her side and propping her head on her hand. Hiiro stay lying still, but a few moments later he rose to match her position.

"You are sarcastic." He stated at point blank.

"It's the only thing I've never failed at. I'm getting good at failing though- maybe one day I'll fail at that."

"Very sarcastic." Serena wanted to gasp. How could he remain so, so stoic all the time? His voice, his face, everything was so monotonous. She had never met anyone like him. She had the strangest urge to grab his shoulders and shake him up, throw him around, and get him off balance. So she leaned over and pressed her lips against his.

Hiiro sat still for a moment, silently shocked. She was… her lips were… on his? And they were soft and warm and sweet and… good. Everything he had been worrying about- Duo, humanity, imperfection- everything dripped from his mind and was replaced by a searing heat. She was so warm that her heat was burning his to his very soul. Every place her skin met his he felt nothing but burning bliss. Her lips were soft and gentle against his cool mouth. So good, so good… so good that he finally kissed back.

Serena was enjoying this. He was just sitting there; in shock, she knew. She had done it! Thrown him off balance, shaken him up. And when his lips finally began to respond, she felt herself lose it. What? No! He was supposed to be scared, to back away! But here he was, kissing her back and… suddenly she couldn't concentrate. Her thoughts wouldn't think straight. They jumbled up in a tangled mess and he brain dimmed. How soft, how cool… never had she met such a wonderful kisser.

His lips were tender and slow, pressing back against her own. As they kissed, she found herself relaxing. But her heart speed up. She was flushed, hot, bothered. Such an overwhelming warmth flowed through her very skin. Even her ex boyfriend, whom she had dated for five years had never evoked such passion.

Since him, she had hated being touched. Since her mother's boyfriends she had hated being touched. Being used roughly the way the other men she had known had taken its toll on her over the years. But everything she had built up over those years just seemed to melt away under the heat of the soft lips upon hers. Stop. When had this gone from her bothering him to him bothering her?

Serena balked and pulled away from him. For a moment they sat there, breathing hard and staring at each other. Neither spoke for a moment, afraid of what the other might say and how the other might react. 

"Why did you kiss me?" Hiiro finally asked. His stoic face was no longer plain, but now smirking and shocked at the same time. Serena wanted to laugh at his shocked face. Had that been his first kiss? 

"I-" She stopped. What could she? Suddenly her real reason didn't seem good enough. It seemed cheap. She couldn't tell him that it had been a joke. Quite frankly, she wasn't sure herself that it had been a joke after he had started kissing back. Yes it was. It was a cruel and sick joke- one she should be damn proud of. 

Hiiro's eyebrows rose when she cut her sentence off, and the sweetly innocent and confused look melted from her face. They went down in consternation when her visage was instead replaced with a dark, sick smile. 

Just one thought about her joke, and Serena knew she needed the perfect finish to finish off the Perfect boy. So she gulped hard, swallowed her air, and began heaving. When the rancid bile began to rise in her throat, she let her eyes roll back into her skull and watched through half slitted eyelids as a creamy white substance spurted from her mouth.

The last thing he saw was her eyelids shut and her body lurch forward. Then he was covered in a sickeningly sticky and disgusting smelling goo. Chunks of unidentifiable food landed all over his face, hair, and shirt. The warm slime dripped over him, and the nauseating stench burned his nostrils. Quickly he sat up, wiping at his face frantically with his hands.

"Bitch!" He whispered darkly.

"Did I get that on you? I'm _so_ sorry about that…" His puke covered eyes narrowed, and the death glare radiated utter hatred and loathing in her direction. 

"You sick bitch."

"Which is why I'm in a mental hospital!" She began laughing hysterically. Hiiro growled monstrously and lunged for the girl. She barely had time to stop laughing before her vulnerable neck was in his grasp. Then the only sounds she began to make were gagging noises. Hiiro had the urge to throttle the girl. 

He wanted to slam her brutally up against the wall. He wanted to beat her silly- punch her in the stomach, break her perfect nose, blacken her eyes, snap her stick thin arms in half. He wanted to knock her teeth out, split her lips. He wanted to bite her, make her bleed. He wanted her blood. The only thing he saw was red as thoughts of revenge and hatred coursed through her veins. Then he remembered Duo. It was all he could do to restrain himself.

But Serena had an idea of her own. Her hands clasped around his were trying to keep him from clenching down around her neck any harder, her feet struggling to find a soft spot to kick him, only finding air and floor. So instead, she hocked back as well as she could and spat in his eye.

Hiiro instantly dropped his hands from her neck. Serena, who had been pushed against the wall off the floor, fell to Hiiro's feet gasping for air and feeling her neck, as if she needed to make sure it was still whole. Once she was sure she was in one piece, she began.

"You sick bastard! Don't touch me!"

"Hnn." Hiiro, who since he had dropped her and turned around, could not bare to look at her. He was still seething with anger, and smelling her spew was not helping. He was afraid he would lose his temper again and try to hurt her again. Just another example of how insane he was. He was no longer perfect. He couldn't control his emotions around a little girl. It just showed how much he had truly fallen from grace.

"What is with you!" Serena yelled angrily. "You can't put on any emotion all day, then you suddenly try to _kill_ me, and now you're back to being indifferent? You're crazy!"

"I signed myself in. You were dragged in." He muttered.

"Shut the hell up!" She screeched. "You don't know a damn thing about why I'm in here!"

"You're a spoiled little bitch. What's there to know? You're psycho."

"I am not the one who tried to kill!"

"You threw up on me!"

"So? You want to be a fat little piggy? It figures! But I don't!" She screamed. Suddenly her body lurched forward, and she spat up again on the floor. This time, though, there were no chunks of food. Everything that came up was pure stomach bile. She had nothing left in her stomach to throw up.

Hiiro turned around when he heard her gagging again and watched as she puked all over the floor. The room was beginning to reek of rotted food and stomach acid. The yellow green puke began to puddle around the shaking girl, and he could see her face was pale with beads of sweat rolling down her temple. She was really sick…

Turning from the site, he let her stay there a moment longer, and when it was obvious that she wasn't stopping, he made a decision. Briskly walking towards the door, he took a look at the lock, the decided just to kick the door out. Two kicks later and the heavy oak door split into splinters from the force of his kick and sprang open. Four nurses who were strolling down the hall turned and rushed towards him.

"Serena's sick." He mentioned quietly. They ran in, and he strolled out, not caring what happened to the girl after this point. He needed a shower. He needed to rid himself of her nauseating stench, he vile germs, and the one sweet memory that she had left him of herself.

Serena had finally been able to stop herself from lurching when four nurses ran into the room. She had though she had seen Hiiro kick down the door, but she had thought it was just a hallucination… 

"Oh my god! Get Bertha, quickly!" One of the nurses yelled. Another fainted, and still a third had to sit for a moment because she was dizzy from the overwhelming odor of putrid puke. They surrounded her, and Serena tried to shake them off.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" She yelled over and over, but her throat stung and her eyes burned and watered from her purging. It was hard form her to breathe- every breath was a labored inhale of sickly tainted air. Her head spun, and though she felt as though she were going to collapse, she still managed to kick and scream at the nurses who came to take hold of her. 

"Let me go! I'm fine!" She even managed to bite one of the nurse's hands that came down to cover her mouth. The taste of the coppery tinge of blood made her aware that she had broken skin, but wasn't sure if she had just bit her own lip, or if it was the other nurse's blood she was tasting. But it didn't matter. She was slowly losing this battle. 

By now Bertha had come and was directing them to hold her down. Serena was babbling incoherently as they placed the straightjacket around her arms and wrapped her in it tightly. All she could do was struggle and make it hard for them. She struggled as they lifted her. She struggled as they walked her down the hall, in front of all of the other patients. She struggled as they carried her into a room she had been in twice before. She struggled even harder when she realized where they were.

"No! No! No! No!" She repeated. Her legs kicked and twitched as the men strapped them down tightly to the cold hard table. Her arms flailed and the men's grips bruised her delicate skin as they forced it to the table and tied them down. Then they placed a metal plate between her teeth, and she screamed harder. The last thing Serena saw out of the corner of her eye was Nurse Bertha, Big Berga, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Bertha, her job done, hurried out of the room. As she shut the door, she heard Serena's pathetic screams for help. Then she saw the shockingly bright light from the cracks around the door. Four more times the shocks lit up the doorway- and then there was silence in the room.

Bertha slid down the door and sat on the floor. A single tear rolled down her high cheekbone. Serena wasn't crazy. It wasn't fair. She knew in her heart Serena wasn't insane. But circumstances had led to the petite blonde acting as if she were mad- and now they were shocking her to try to make her normal, to try to jolt her back to reality. It wasn't fair…*

~~~Well. I creeped myself out writing this. Actually, this is toned down from what I wanted. But I figure, it is rated PG-13 (not that anyone pays attention to that) Anyway. I could really use feedback on this one everyone! PLEASE REVIEW! Much love, Vixen~~~

PS: Someone asked if I had seen Girl, Interrupted. Funny you should ask. I only saw that movie for the first time two nights ago on TV… great movie. Very depression, though not near as much as Requiem for a Dream. I swear- that movie robbed me of my innocence! My advice to all of you is: "NEVER WATCH REQUIEM FOR A DREAM!" Seriously. Don't. 


	9. Razors

**WARNING**: **DARK** **CONTENT**- Please take note, this chapter is **RATED** **R**!

Chapter Nine: Razors

*Hiiro stepped out of his room. It was late, but he had heard shuffling and his training wouldn't let him ignore it without finding out what was happening first. He cracked his door open and slid out of his room. Padding down the hallway, he came to the bend between the wings. To his left he knew was the cafeteria, art room, and court yard. He knew straight ahead was the hallway to the doctor's offices, psychiatrist offices, and nurse quarters. Then he heard the shuffling again and looked to his right- towards the woman's wing of patients. He could see three orderlies and Nurse Bertha standing outside one of the rooms.

"Hiiro." He turned around. There behind him was a nurse he had seen before somewhere. "You are supposed to be in bed. I'm doing checks now. If you get back now, I won't write up that you were out."

"What are they doing?" He asked, his eyes never leaving the women's wing.

"Bringing Serena back in." His eyebrows rose slightly.

"Where was she?"

"Didn't you here? They took her for shocks."

"Shocks?"

"They strapped her to a table and ran electricity through her, in the very broadest sense. They tried to jolt her back to reality."

"Why?"

"Because she's as crazy as they come Hiiro, that's why. But don't you worry. You aren't crazy. Come on then, go back to bed. Otherwise they'll need to start giving you meds to sleep."

"I don't need drugs to sleep." He grunted.

"Of course not. You're sane. They just give the drugs to the patients. You don't count unless they decide you need it. Which they might- if I write you up. Come on, back to bed with you."

"Hnn." But he did finally tear his eyes from the scene across the hallway and walk back to his own room. When he had lain back down and the nurse had made sure he wasn't going to leave again, she left him alone. 

For a long time Hiiro lay awake in bed. He had been so angry with the girl. So furious. Had he been the one to trigger her response? The one to make her throw up the second time? Why would they give her shock treatment just because she threw up? What if she had been sick? Not just throwing up, but with a fever and a cough? Would they have stopped long enough to check? Or would they just decide she needed the treatment without finding out why?

They were doctors. They would find out first. That was their job. But they hadn't asked him why he had broken down the door- or if he had done anything to provoke her. That didn't make any sense. Why didn't they care about him? He was just as imperfect as the next person over, therefore crazy. He was just as crazy as Serena was. So why didn't they ask him? 

Guilt ebbed at his stomach. He had gotten away with it with Duo, and now he was doing it with this little girl. He was losing his temper. The only way to regain his Perfection was to regain his control over his emotions. He needed to do that. Now. But how? Venting like the shrink had told him to do was not helping- it was in fact making things worse. So he should stop talking? No- they would keep him in the mental home for sure if he did that.

Hiiro rolled over, closed him eyes, and fell asleep instantly. He would just need to think about it in the morning.

)(

The bright sunlight streaming through curtains hurt her eyes. Her whole head throbbed. Her jaw was sore, her teeth even ached. She felt as if her mind was going to explode. Why did they do that? She wasn't crazy. Serena knew she wasn't crazy. All she had made were a few simple mistakes, and here she was, locked up in an insane asylum, receiving the occasional shock therapy. 

"Serena?" A cheery voice echoed in the room. Her head pounded ten times harder. 

"Who's there?" She whispered, her teeth clenched and her eyes shut tight. 

"It's me, Jake."

"Jake… the nutritionist?"

"Yeah. I'm here with your breakfast and morning medication."

"Joy."

"I know. But you lost a lot of fluids yesterday, you need to gain them back quickly. Otherwise, they'll stick you on an IV again."

"Nothing's worse than shock therapy. Let them." She replied dully. "I don't think I can chew. I think my teeth were rattled from my brain."

"I brought you ice cream…" Serena suddenly perked up.

"Cho, chocolate ice cream? With… chocolate syrup?" She whispered, her jaw unclenching and her eyes opening halfway so she could look at the man in front of her.

"With a cherry on top!" He smiled brightly. She smiled slightly.

"For breakfast? What, and Big Berga didn't throw a fit?"

"Actually- she doesn't like being called that. And actually, she suggested it. She even told me your favorite flavor."

"Big Berga?" Serena's eyes now opened wide with disbelief.

"Yes, Nurse Bertha."

"Well. The world is coming to an end and hell is freezing over. I don't believe it. Now if only pigs would fly."

"Well, you may have to wait a while for the last one." The man chuckled. "Come on, have a bite." He picked up the spoon and dug into the ice cream. Just as the spoon reached her lips, she pulled away, ignoring the dizzy feeling she got when she did.

"Freeze."

"I thought that was the ice cream's job?"

"Funny. How many calories are in that stuff? What, are you trying to fatten me up so you can eat me in place of the turkey for next Thanksgiving?"

"No. If we were trying to do that, we'd be feeding you stuffing. All we're trying to do is make you comfortable since you didn't have the best day yesterday."

"Who told you about that?" She grumbled.

"Bertha."

"Well, that's better. Hell's melting. At least that seems more normal."

"She just wanted to make you feel comfortable."

"Then tell her not to give me any more shock therapy treatment. For crying out loud, it was Hiiro's fault." Serena whined as she began eating the ice cream.

"Hiiro?"

"He's new. Only here for a week, thank God. He's some ex-soldier who checked himself in for anger management."

"How was yesterday his fault?"

"He's annoying. My God, he's annoying. That stupid shrink told us to play a game to get along, so we end up playing Twister, of all games, and just when I think I'm going to win, I fall. Then he goes off on some tangent about being perfect… it made me so mad that he was so… indestructible."

"How so?"

"You should see this guy. He's all muscle and stone. I could have sworn he didn't know what emotion was until after the Twister game. I just wanted him to show some emotion… that was it! So I threw up on him. Just to get a reaction. And he went ballistic!"

"Well, if he's here for anger management…." Jake replied uncertainly. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Whatever. If he's here for anger management, and he was showing no emotion before I threw up on him, how was I supposed to know he had that violent of a temper? He was so mad… but then I couldn't stop throwing up. I think he thought I was sick- which I was- so he kicked the door in and brought the nurses in. Then he just left. I mean, he didn't even stick around to check and see how I was. What a creep."

"So it's his fault. Do you think he feels sorry?"

"Who cares? And people think I'm crazy. He's the real nut." She said, finishing up her ice cream. "Look. I have an art class in half an hour, and I have to get dressed."

"Right. Well, have a better day Serena."

"Yeah right. I'm crazy, how great could my day possibly be?" But the man only smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him. Serena waited for a minute. Then she stood. Wobbly at first, her legs soon remembered how to walk, and she made her way dizzily to the door. Poking her head out, she called to the nearest nurse.

"Nurse?" The nurse looked at her with a slight hint of fear in her eyes.

"Ye, Yes?"

"I would like a razor to shave my legs." Serena told the nurse. Inwardly, she sighed. This was ridiculous. Having to ask to use a razor…

"Ok. Let me get you one. I'll need to stand outside the door and supervise though." The nurse tittered.

"Fine." Serena nodded knowingly.

Fifteen minutes later Serena was letting the hot water drip over her head, neck, and back. Her foggy mind was in a state of serenity and she felt the little droplets of water pelting her skin like little pin drops. It felt good, to have the scalding water rush over her, turning her skin first red, the purple. She had turned the heat up to the point it burned her to stand directly under the water. But that was the only way she knew she was alive- through the pain. 

Outside her door the nurse was chattering away about any and everything going on in the hospital. Serena took a look at the razor the nurse had given her. Quickly she shaved her legs. If she didn't hurry, she would be late to the art class. As she finished with her legs, she brought the razor up to her face and really looked at it. It was a little pink, single bladed plastic razor. 

How did people manage to kill themselves with these razors? She didn't understand. They slit their wrists, did they? With that little blade? Was it that sharp? She looked closely at it. Maybe it was. Gently, as if it were a snake she didn't want to bite her, Serena carefully removed the blade from the plastic razor. Then she gently dragged her pinky across it. She felt nothing. But then a small welt of red blood rose and fell, dripping away with the water down the drain. 

So it was that sharp? No she understood. It was so sharp people couldn't feel it cutting into their skin, into their wrists. They couldn't feel the cool metal blade as they dragged it through their skin and slit the lifelines in their wrists. She swallowed hard and salty tears mingled with the searing water as it poured down over her face. Serena looked in wonder at the small razor in her hand. A miracle tool, for sure.

"Hey, are you alright in there?" The perky nurse's voice rang dully in her ears.

"Yeah, almost done!" She echoed vacantly back, her eyes still fixed on the gleaming metal of the little razor. Very slowly, she brought it to her wrist and lightly dragged it across her skin. A ting red welt appeared, but she had not pressed hard enough to break the skin. She repeated the motion on the other arm, then blinked. Not yet. Quickly she fumbled for the plastic razor and stuck the blade back in it. Then she shut the water off and dried off. She was going to be late now.

As she stepped out of the bathroom, she handed the razor back to the nurse. Brushing her hair, she threw on shorts and a ling sleeved shirt. "Did you have a nice shower?" The nurse asked her.

"Very nice." Serena nodded, smiling at her reflection.

"Oh, good! I'm glad! You'd better hurry, or you'll be late to art class."

"Yes, I'd better. Being late would never do." She smiled at the nurse sweetly, then quickly exited her room, leaving the slightly confused nurse behind her. *


	10. Art of Shrinks

Chapter Ten: Art of Shrinks

*When Serena reached her painting easel, she quickly settled down. What was she going to paint today? Her black on black masterpiece had been thrown out when she had dumped the black paint on the nurse, so she had to start all over on the blank canvas.

"Hello Serena. What are you going to do today?" The art nurse approached her, keeping a distance.

"Don't know."

"How about a portrait? I've never seen you do a painting of another person before." Serena looked over her canvas and nodded.

"Alright." 

"Good. I'll be back to check on you later." The nurse told her gently. Then she walked off. Serena stared at the blank canvas for a while longer. Who would she possibly paint? She had no friends in this place. No one would pose for her, and no one around the hospital really inspired her anyway.

Suddenly a blast of cold air wafted through the room, and Serena looked to see where it was coming from. Two tables over, right in front of the courtyard door sat Hiiro Yui, the very man who had made her so sick the other day. She had expected that whenever she saw him next she would have instantly lost her temper. She had thought she might get sick again, or that she would feel some sort of deep seeded hatred for the man. After all, he had tried to _kill_ her!

But she didn't. She felt… indifferent. No, she felt… at peace. It was the oddest thing, and it almost made her angry. But nothing could really anger her at the moment. 

No one had ever made her feel such waves of serene tranquility. Serena took the moment to look at Hiiro. He was hunched over a drawing pad, sketching what looked to be a giant mecha. His face, the very same that had been so stoic and then so furious the day before was neither. Instead, he looked to be in a deep trance concentrating on his work. In fact, he looked peaceful himself.

Her eyes traveled to his lips… she remembered the feeling of her lips pressing gently against his as he pressed back, vying for power over the other. She remembered the intense heat- hotter still than even the blistering water she had stood under in the shower that morning. 

Slowly, without her consciously realizing it, her right hand began to move on the blank canvas before her. Her trained muscles sketched his hair, his strong jaw, his neck, and then she moved in with details. She lovingly carved his expressive but empty eyes into the cloth, then his nose, and finally his mouth. She lingered over his lips, trying to perfect them. When she was done with the sketch, she picked up her color palette and began mixing together a skin color.

"Serena…" The nurse stepped up behind her. "That is… extraordinary work."

"Hmm." She simply brushed the woman off, too busy concentrating. The nurse simply stood behind Serena, watching her work for a few moments. Then she looked up to see Hiiro Yui, who had to be the subject of Serena's painting. The likeness was incredible. Serena was talented.

"Keep up the good work Serena."

"Ok." The blonde replied, not even sure of what the nurse had just said to her. Serena worked for another hour before it was time for lunch. Because she had splattered a great deal of paint over herself, she ended up being one of the last ones to leave the room. However, as she threw away the paper towels, she took notice of something in the garbage can.

Reaching in and braving the disgusting germs of the trash, she salvaged a piece of fine drawing paper. It had been folded into several pieces, and half ripped down the middle. When she had finally reconstructed the drawing, Serena gasped. It was the drawing Hiiro had been working on. But it was so… good. Detailed, precise, and it was labeled. It looked to be a mobile suit of some kind, but of what kind she was not sure. Why would he have thrown it away?

"Serena?" Oh no! She inwardly groaned.

"Big Berga." She clipped.

"Time for lunch."

"I know, thank you." Serena quickly refolded the picture and pocketed it.

"And Serena? After lunch you have a meeting with Doctor Carl."

"Splendid!" The blonde grumbled. Bertha smiled. What a girl.

)(

Serena walked into a new office and had to wince as she did so. It was so bright… her eyes were still sensitive to light. In front of her sat a giant mahogany desk, where Doctor Carl was seated. Off to the right side of the room was a sofa, and off to the left were two large armchairs. Next to the armchairs there was a giant window covered by a heavy, crushed velvet, red curtain. Plants and ferns placed sporadically about in the room, giving it a warm feeling. 

"Serena" The doctor nodded tiredly at the girl.

"Look at it this way: You got a bigger office because of it."

"I don't want to think of it anyway Serena. I want _you_ to think about it."

"I don't want to."

"You'll have to confront your actions some time Serena. Isn't it better to do it now, while I'm with you to help you sort things out?"

"No. It would be easier if you left me alone."

"How do you feel today Serena?"

"Let me think really hard about that one Doc. Yesterday I uncontrollably threw-up, and then they gave me shock therapy… I feel swell!" She beamed a false smile.

"Sarcasm again. Serena, why do you hide behind you sarcasm?"

"To stop nosey little old bald men like yourself from digging into my private life. Shove out!"

"I'm not trying to be nosey. I want to help."

"I don't need as much help as some of your other patients. Take Hiiro Yui for example. Wouldn't you be better off with him in here?"

"Why did you bring him up?"

"It was just an example!"

"Your example could subconsciously have a meaning."

"Look. All I'm trying to say is that he is a dangerous man who should be locked up here longer than I am. And here I am getting the police interview."

"Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday in my office? What triggered your illness? All we know is that you two played Twister."

"And I lost. And then I got annoyed with him because he was too stoic, so I threw-up on him. End of story."

"Why do I feel like that's only half of it?"

"Look. Believe me, don't believe me. I don't care. Just let me out."

"Serena. A person who tries to commit suicide is always looking for a way out. Are you still looking? Why?"

"I think I'm going to pull a Hiiro here. Hnn." She grunted. Carl looked at her oddly. Hiiro hadn't grunted much around him.

"Serena. You said it bothered you that Hiiro was so stoic. Why?"

"Why? Why do you care? Why do you want to know why?"

"I care because I'm a doctor-"

"Shrink."

"Doctor, and I want to help. And I want to know why because it might help me with finding insight into your brain."

"I want you out of my brain, remember?"

"I know. But it'll help you." Serena half laughed.

"If I cared about helping me, I wouldn't have tried suicide in the first place!"

"Why did you try it? Did you feel like you had no other options? Did you feel unloved? Was there a pressure you couldn't deal with?"

"Pressure? Yeah, you! You're driving me crazy- and trust me, it's hard to do! I think I'm done here."

"Serena, please. Open up."

"And you close up. Like I said, I'm done. Old man, I'm out of here." She stood and made for the door.

"Serena, you're only hurting yourself."

"Good." She muttered. The Doctor stood, slightly stunned, as the petite blonde walked out of his office door.

The Doctor sat back in his chair and sipped down a cup of water with two Excedrin. That girl… it was almost as if she wanted the pain. It was like it was the only thing reminding her she was still alive. But how did he reach her? A knock came on his door.

"Come in." He called. When the door opened, he looked up and breathed deeply. Hiiro Yui. "Hello Hiiro."

"I have a meeting with you now." Hiiro told him unceremoniously. 

"Wonderful. Sit on down." Hiiro did as he was told and sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. "So tell me how you've been Hiiro."

"Fine."

"Really?"

"No."

"Tell me about it."

"Serena is confusing me." He honestly answered. What the hell was he doing? He should just hold his tongue. He should… but he needed this solved.

"She confuses everyone Hiiro." Carl smiled. Hiiro seemed so innocent at times. "How does she confuse you?"

"She makes me feel emotions."

"That's normal Hiiro." The doctor told him frowning. 

"No. I was trained to have no emotions. I was trained to have to emotional feelings or attachments. Serena gives me feelings. I need to repress these feelings- especially my temper."

"You were taught to repress your feelings?"

"Yes."

"But why? Feeling emotions… that's what gives us a sense of morality, a sense of guilt and conscience, and a sense of compassion."

"That was why. The men who raised me could not afford a soldier who faltered due to emotional weakness. I could not have compassion for the enemy."

"Incredible. You mean to tell me you've repressed your emotions for this long?"

"Yes. I need to revert again."

"No, you don't. Hiiro, you need to let loose the bottled up emotions. The reason your temper is so volatile is because you never release steam. If you vented once in a while, it wouldn't build up so much, and then you would be normal."

"I can't be normal. I need to be Perfect."

"No one is perfect."

"I was. Then my temper released. Serena released it again yesterday. Why?"

"Why did she trigger your release?" Hiiro nodded. "I don't know. She has that tendency to rub the wrong way on people though."

"But last night I felt guilty. I know I trigger her second sick spell. And I wasn't punished. She was shocked, and I wasn't."

"Serena needed something to bring her back to reality. If you felt worried for her; that was your punishment. The punishment of feeling something."

"Not good enough." Hiiro grunted.

"Well Hiiro, it's going to have to be." *


	11. Memories, Please Sign

**DEDICATED TO THE TROOPS OVERSEAS: **

**MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU SWIFT FEET TO CONQUER THE ENEMY AND RETURN HOME SAFELY. AMEN.**

Chapter Eleven: Memories, Please Sign 

*As he shuffled out of the shrink's office and back to his room, Hiiro noticed the walls weren't quite as intimidating as they had seemed. White. White walls. Why had they decided to use white? Most likely because white was a color that usually didn't stimulate or add to anything. He figured some of the patients needed to see the blank walls.

"Like I said before: they figure that if you're not crazy when you first come in here, they'll make you crazy by the time you leave." His eyes widened and he flipped around. Then they narrowed and he could feel his own cheeks been to taint a brilliant red as blood rush through them. He had been caught, not only off guard, but by _her_… 

"Hnn." He grunted.

"Hey, hey, hey, now! Before you go getting all Perfect on me…" Serena smiled. She remember what had happened the last time he had been Perfect- she had gotten to kiss his silky soft lips… and then to ruin the moment. She tried to brush that out of her memory and smiled brighter still. "Look, I wanted to apologize. No hard feelings."

"Not accepted." Her eyes now narrowed. Who was he to refuse her?

"Why not?"

"You are dangerous. You provoke." He wanted to slink away, to melt into the white walls and disappear where she couldn't find him; where she couldn't make him _feel_.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Her eyes remained stormy, but the rest of her face became impassive.

"Not for me."

"Of course." She murmured, stepping forward. "I forgot. You are, after all, Perfect. And God _forbid_ letting a Perfect one such as yourself become corrupt by little old crazy me."

"Hnn."

"At any rate, I wanted to apologize, and, ask you a favor."

"No."

"You don't even know what it is yet!" She accused.

"No."

"It won't bother you."

"Your presence bothers me. No."

"Oh, feisty! Please?"

"No." He growled. Hiiro clenched his hands into tight fists and his knuckles became white.

"Look, if it's my 'presence', as you so graciously put it, that bothers you, this will only take a second."

"No."

"Damnit Hiiro! All I want is your ruddy signature! Is it so hard to sign your damn name?"

"No."

"No as in no, it isn't hard to sign your name, or as in no, you won't do it?" She lifted her eyebrows. When she saw him shift and twitch, she had to laugh. 

Her loud, clear laughter rang through his ears and echoed through his empty mind. She was laughing at him? Why? Who had given her permission to laugh at him? No one had ever laughed at him. Duo had once tried… but a flashing of his gun had shut the braided oaf up. But this little, insignificant, speck of a girl was laughing at him. His heart beat faster, his blood began to pump harder, and adrenaline flushed through his skin. How, how… how dare she!

"Don't laugh!" He growled, trying to keep his temper in check. But she only shook her head and kept giggling. "Don't laugh!" He yelled again, this time his voice wavered, and he shuddered. Hiiro's hands twitched, and they had the urge to throttle her again. "Do not laugh!" He insisted.

"But you're so… funny!" Serena gasped. Honestly, she was trying to stop, but his anger seemed to only make the situation funnier. And the scary thing was, she knew she was pushing him. She knew she was breaking through his shields… and she _loved_ it. It gave her such a rush to know she could give a person like Hiiro a hard time. It empowered her and made her feel as if she was in control. And being in control? That was priceless.

Hiiro seethed with anger. Soon his eyes blurred and through the haze, his focus settled on Serena. Quickly he moved forward and grabbed her shoulders. Pinning them to the white wall, he held her there, captive in his vice-like grasp. She was going to pay- he was going to make her _pay._

"I said, don't laugh." He whispered. Then he noticed her giggles had subsided, and she was looking at him. Her eyes… 

"Hiiro." Slowly the haze disintegrated, and he found his intense need to cause pain drip away in a flood of unexplainable relaxation. His cobalt eyes shifted and fell to her tender lips. The very same soft, very searing lips that had kissed him so gently yesterday. "Please let go Hiiro." Her lips formed every letter, every word perfectly. Her tongue rolled his name, and he shivered with an acute sense of bliss.

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to." She stuttered with a slight fear in her voice. 

"I asked you to stop laughing- did you?"

"I tried."

"I'm trying to let you go."

"Liar."

"I am." He implored her to believe. But his arms had yet to so much as flinch.

"Then why aren't you letting go?" She whispered. Her eyes were that of a deer caught in headlights. He reveled in the thought that he scared her. He should. Now she would take him seriously. Now she wouldn't laugh. Now she knew how dangerous he could be.

"I don't want to." The words slipped from his mouth before he could catch himself. That was _not_ what he had wanted to say.

"I want you to. Please?" Her soft voice trembled, and he felt her body shaking. She was so scared of him… Black over took him and his grasp slipped from her. Slowly he fell to his knees before her and held his head with his hands, trying to forget…

_"Hiiro, you can't kill Duo. He's your best friend!"_

"Duo…" He whispered, falling to his knees. "Duo, I'm sorry…" But Duo stayed down, still trembling. Hiiro cringed. His friend had been through as much as he during the war, and nothing had ever scared him before. But he, Hiiro, had scared him. The one who was supposed to be his friend… had scared him….

His mind filled with the memory and his body shut down as he dealt with the overpowering swell of hatred that rose in his chest.

Serena, who had been terrified of Hiiro, stood against the wall in shock. He had… he had… just like… 

"Come 'ere you lil' whore! That's right! You're mine! Do as your mother says and get your lil' ass over here now! "

"Please no! Please let me go! Please stop!" She begged. But he just smiled darkly and continued advancing on her. As she slowly backed up, she tripped over the couch, and he lunged on top of her. The stench of alcohol sickened her, and the smell of cigar smoke stung her eyes and nose. His hands moved under her clothes… lower than they should have… and then…

The memories made her sick. She wanted to throw up. Looking around for a garbage can, she found none. Then, out of shame and horror, she collapsed to the floor in front of Hiiro. 

The two lost children sat on the floor across from each other only for a few moments, each rapt in their memories. Forlorn and beaten, they each managed to break the spells binding them to their eccentric pasts and awaken to the present once more. Hiiro was the first to come to.

"Serena?" He asked the insane girl before him, the guilt from Duo's incident carrying over. 

"Please don't touch me…" She seemed to be in a daze. He reached out and once more took hold of her shoulders. As he shook her, his eye caught the flash of white as a note fell from her pocket. Momentarily studying it, his eyes lit up in recognition. It was is drawing from the art class. How had she gotten it?

"Hiiro?" Serena snapped out of her reverie. 

"You alright?" He asked her monotonously.

"Sure." She replied with the same glum. "You?"

"Sure." Silence as they traced the pattern of the tiled floor.

"You've got my picture." He began.

"I saved it from the germs." She managed a small smile. He glared sharply.

"It's mine. Why did you take it?"

"It was fair game being in the trash and all. Besides. I thought it was good. Really good. I was going to ask you to sign it. All great artists sign their work you know."

"They do?" His eyes lit up. He was… a great artist?"

"Yeah. That's what my friend used to tell me. She said that all great artists had a mark of some kind- either their name, or a symbol, like that Prince guy."

"Who?" He asked.

"Never mind. But will you sign it?"

"I should rip it up." Her eyes opened wide in alarm.

"Oh, please don't!" She begged. He looked sharply at her. This time when she had said 'please don't!' it hadn't sounded so desperately scared, just very pleasing and sweet. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Feelings? Stop! He wasn't supposed to care! He wasn't supposed to have any feelings of his own- and guilt was one. Not to mention he wasn't supposed to consider feelings of others.

But wasn't that the reason he was here? Because he had taken into consideration Duo's feelings? Because he had wanted to atone for his sins towards his comrades? He had told himself it was to re-collect his emotions and lock them back up, but now…

"Which would you prefer, a name or a mark?" He asked her. Once again he did not understand how his mouth could possibly say something he hadn't wanted it to.

"Your name." She decided easily. He solemnly looked at the piece of paper and took out a pen. Quickly he scribbled his name in the bottom right corner of the sketch.

"Thanks." Serena nodded. She didn't understand why she wasn't sick. She always threw up after that image. But this time she hadn't. Even if she couldn't find a trash can she would have thrown up. But seeing Hiiro in front of her, she felt horrible and couldn't do it again. It had always been so easy to become bulimic with memories like that. It was what had helped her when she had been an amateur and unaware of how to begin. But unlike most girls, she had never needed to stick her finger down her throat. She just needed to remember the first time her mother let her boyfriend rape her.

"Serena! Hiiro! What are you two doing?" They both looked up to see Doctor Carl staring at them wondrously. 

"I um, we were…" Serena stammered. Hiiro stood, then reached down and grabbed Serena by the small of her waist and effortlessly placed her back on her feet.

"We ran into each other." Hiiro lied through his teeth.

"And you just decided to sit and have a conversation?" The Doctor asked skeptically.

"We got carried away." Hiiro grimaced. "It won't happen again."

"No, it certainly won't." Serena whispered under her breath. The Doctor eyed her sharply. After her outburst in his office this morning he had expected to hear that she had thrown up, or caused a disturbance, not to find her on the floor near his office chatting with someone she seemingly did not get along with. 

And Hiiro! He had not believed he would see the sturdy boy on the ground from running into someone of Serena's height and weight. But he was, and they were talking amicably, no problems in sight. No wonder Hiiro was confused with Serena's actions… he couldn't decided upon his own actions!

"Well, are you two okay after bumping heads?"

"Fine." Serena gathered her courage. "Thanks Hiiro, for the signing and all." The she turned on her heel and stormed away towards the art room. *

~~~Hey all! Sorry this has taken a little while! I've finally finished my own original novel and had to get it ready for a publisher. I'm hoping it'll be published (dare to dream). Oh well! More to come soon, and please review! Much love, Vixen~~~


	12. Vixen's Note

Vixen's Note: 

I always feel terrible putting these notes in, they really can be a bore, and I know people (including myself) skip them. But I just wanted to mention a few small notes:

1) I will be raising the rating on this fic. I didn't think it was all too terrible, but now that I've finished it and seen what happens, I DEFINITELY need to raise the rating. Please don't forget about me because it doesn't automatically pop up on ff.net! Check for it under R!

2) I have these italic flashbacks, but for some reason ff.net isn't italicizing the font. So, if you read a paragraph that seems really out of place, or that you think you've read before, chances are it's a flashback that wasn't italicized.

3) My novel. It really isn't original I suppose… it's more like I took Passing Judgment (some of you might recognize that fic as the last fic I finished) and twisted it. Hiiro becomes Nick, Serena becomes Elizabeth, and instead of there being Eve Wars and Gundam pilots, Hiiro is a solider who has returned from Vietnam. I really changed a lot more though. Personalities are switched too. I know it may not be fully original, but the idea was definitely mine originally, as were the characters that I developed through the plot and the events that occurred. Does that make any sense?

Gee, I think that's about it- except…

**THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

To everyone who reviews, I think this is long over due. You are never praised wnough for your awesome comments and suggestions. I can never tell you how grateful I am to you. All of you such sweet people, so kind with all of your reviews. I could never ask for anyone else to read my work. You guys are what make writing so spectacular for me. I love writing something and then wondering what people will think, that's why I keep writing. You're all so wonderful, I can never express how deeply my gratitude runs. You will all ALWAYS be in my heart and in my prayers. Much love to you always and forever, Vixen


	13. Anorexic Analogy

**NOTICE**: I am raising the rating on this to R. Please continue to read, don't forget about me because I don't automatically pop up when you get on FF.net! Thank you!

Chapter Twelve: Anorexic Analogy

*"They were sitting on the ground in the hallway, close to my office door. What do you make of it?" Doctor Carl settled in for a meeting. In front of him sat Bertha, who was the head nurse of the anger management division of the hospital. They were comparing their weekly notes on the development of patients outside of therapy, and Serena and Hiiro's names had been almost last on their list of topics- they had been procrastinating on the two long enough, and now there was no one else to discuss but them. 

"Sitting on the floor?" Bertha asked, quite unsure if she had heard the good doctor correctly.

"On the floor. And I have the strangest suspicion that they were actually having a decent and civil conversation."

"Carl, Hiiro is a man of few words. It's hard enough to get him to speak… a conversation? With a girl that seems to push his nerves to the breaking point?" Bertha gave him a skeptical glance.

"I know, I know. I'm only relaying what I saw. Tell me, has Hiiro said anything to you about repression of emotions?"

"No. But like I said, he doesn't say much to begin with… repression of emotions? Is that possible?"

"One can limit certain emotions to certain extents, but to completely block all feeling of every emotion? It's impossible. Yet he swears he had done it. And know the wildest thing about it? I believe he did. Hiiro Yui does not seem the type to lie. In his sessions with me so far he has been very straightforward with facts- actually, it's about the only thing he has told me, are facts. I agree, he doesn't speak much, and when he does, he in curt and gets to the point. I can't seem to get his own opinion on any of the situations he has described, only the facts on events."

"That could be a result of repression." Bertha nodded.

"Exactly what I was thinking. Still. I have to think that if he has been repressing his emotions, that sooner or later they will emerge more volatile than ever before."

"Hence the reason he checked himself in here- he thought he was losing control."

"Right. The problem is that he believes he needs to regain control. He's almost like an anorexic. He's been starving himself of emotion using willpower. This gives him a sense of control in the world, like an anorexic feels they can control their life when they regulate their food intake. But his willpower has been slipping, and now that he's beginning to taste those emotions, he feels out of control, like he can't handle himself. The floodgates have opened."

"So Hiiro is an anorexic who is re-learning to eat."

"Precisely- in so many words. And just like an anorexic, he doesn't think anything is wrong with him. He thinks that he must stop eating now, or he will get fat again."

"But Carl, how are we going to convince Hiiro that he needs to eat?"

"That is why we compare notes. I frankly haven't any idea. I thought of trying to use the anorexic analogy with him- he's smart and insightful, and brutally honest with himself- I think he would understand. But I don't think he would care enough to follow it. In fact, just knowing it might push him to repress even more. I was hoping you would have some suggestions?"  
"From what I've seen, he has a good handle on his emotions everywhere but around Serena. Then again, most people do. She just seems to rub the wrong way against so many people- Hiiro especially."

"I agree. But I don't think that it would be to our advantage to put them together. He's too volatile around her."

"I thought they had had a civil conversation?"

"Who knows if that will happen again, or what they will talk about when together? No, I think it best to keep them separate."

"And Hiiro? How will we spark his hunger?"

"I'm not quite sure yet. Give me another session with him, maybe I'll have an idea then." Carl rubbed his temples, trying to fight off the wearying disease of nerves. 

"Sounds good. Who's next?" Bertha asked, knowing full well who was next on their list. 

"Well, since we touched on the topic…" She groaned.

"Poor Serena. Carl, I feel bad for the girl. Something tells me she isn't mentally unstable. And the shock therapy? Haven't we put her through enough?"

"Something needed to jolt that girl back to her senses. I feel bad about it too. I hate using shock therapy- you know I do, but … Bertha, Serena attempted suicide. What is stable about that?"

"Do we know her motives yet?"

"No. She's still tight-lipped as ever."

"If only we knew what had set her off, what trigger her, then we would be able to begin treating her. But she's so stubborn."

"Too stubborn for her own good if you ask me." Carl snorted.

"I have to admire her though. She's got a strong will to resist you for three months straight." 

"But a strong will can also be a dangerous thing. She and Hiiro have so much friction between each other that they could start a fire with the sparks. It's mainly due to the fact that both of them are so self-righteous that neither is willing to bend for the other and strike a compromise."

"That reminds me. Guess what our little artist painted only just this morning?" Bertha smirked.

"What was it this time? All gray?" Carl joked. The day Serena painted anything other than a solid canvas was the day he would eat his hat.

"Actually, it was a portrait of another patient."

"I didn't know Serena could do portraits." He mentally grumbled. Where was that hat again? "She's never done a portrait before. Who was it? Maybe we can …" 

"She painted Hiiro." Silence befell them as the information seared itself into the poor doctor's heart.

"She painted Hiiro?" He swallowed hard. "Has she been thinking of him a great deal then?"

"I wouldn't know- I'm not in her brain. If I was, we would have already sent her home cured."

"What I meant was, how close have the two become?"

"Not very. The only time they've spent with each other is art and, of course, the infamous Twister disaster."

"Plus the movie night, and self-defense course." 

"At which they fought like cats and dogs. Those two just do not belong together."

"Separate them and keep them separate. They'll only end up slowing the other's healing process down if they around allowed access to each other."

"Alright. Anyone else I should watch?" Carl sat back in his chair. 

)(

Serena sat staring at her portrait in the art room. Most of the others had long since left to join the game of cards that usually took place in the afternoons, but she had chosen to remain behind. The portrait had her fascinated. She couldn't take her eyes from the softly angled features and stubborn set of Hiiro's jaw as she had painted it. In her mind, it was not nearly as perfect as the original model- but it was close. She didn't understand the painting any more than she understood the man whom she had replicated it after.

Hiiro Yui was an enigma to her. Never before had she met anyone who not only made her feel so confused. He angered her, yet she craved more of him. Every time they met, she felt a heightened sense of awareness, and everything around her became black and white save for Hiiro. 

But she also feared him. But that was almost irrelevant in this situation- she feared all men. In her life, men had only caused her pain and suffering. It was the good-for-naught man she called 'Daddy' that beat her as a child. It was a man that had told her she was too fat, hence starting her anorexia. It was the men that her mother brought home every night drunk that screamed and raped her. It was all the men in her life that she had ever met, using her and taking advantage of her. Why, just the other day, Hiiro had held her pinned against a wall, his large, strong, calloused hands gripped firmly around her neck. He had already tried to hurt her… why shouldn't she fear him?

Then why did she still stare longingly at his portrait! Damnit! As a tear slipped from her empty oceanic eyes, she choked back a sob and slammed her fist into the table beside her. It wasn't right; she was crazy! 

"Did the table really deserve that?" Instantly her back straightened as chills ran up her spine and goose bumps covered her skin. Whipping her head around, her breath caught in her throat and her eyes lingered on a familiar face.

"I asked if the table deserved that." His deep voice struck chords in her chest she had never felt played.

"I thought my presence bothered you." She muttered. "What are you doing in here? Get lost."

"I want to know something."

"Go ask a genius then."

"You are the one who has the answer."

"Oh, you know that already do you?"

"Why did you want my drawing?"

"Didn't we already cover this? I thought it was good." Hiiro looked at her, trying to decide if her words held water, or if she was only patronizing him. He tried to catch her eyes, to hold her gaze and pick through her mind and read her thoughts. But she had purposely shifted her attention to the floor, so he couldn't catch her eyes. Then something from behind her made him forget his intentions.

There was… him. It was almost like looking into a mirror and seeing a caricature of himself instead. Was Serena responsible for the portrait? It was incredibly well done; in fact, it looked like a professional had done it instead of an insane asylum patient.

"Did you do that portrait?"  
"Maybe." She retorted softly. Why wouldn't he just leave? She couldn't think with him so close, and her contradicting feelings about him were too raw to decipher at the moment, she needed time before she was ready to have conversations with him.

"Why did you do me?" Was his next question. In his mind, it seemed most logical to want to know why she had painted him of all the other patients in the art class. 

"I felt like it. Who do you think you are, Doctor Carl? Sorry, but I don't answer questions for shrinks." She smirked. Being mean gave her the sense of power she had felt the lack of when he had first taken her by surprise. She would not let him gain power over her.

"I am no shrink." He grunted, so harshly that she gasped.

"Well excuse me for breathing." For a moment he looked sharply at her. In those few seconds, Serena felt like she was going to melt away and die of fear. His brutal eyes pierced her soul, and she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces of priceless and icy shards. For those few, long seconds, she thought he was going to kill her simply by glaring at her.

Then in the empty art room, his deep and growling laughter filled the heavy air. In every corner his gruff voice echoed as he let loose and laughed heartily. Serena looked on in awe as the man whom she had thought was going to murder her began to laugh insanely. Slowly she slipped off her stool and backed away from him. When her back hit the wall, only then did she stop to observe him again. He had cracked. *

~~~I am so sorry this has taken me so long. If you want a reason, well, I've been swamped by having to pick a college. For all of you who've heard me complaining about wanting to go to an Arizona college, well, I got in! To both! Yey! But then I had to pick between the two… never before have I had to make such a hard decision. But I did it! I'm a Sun Devil! That means I'm going to Arizona State! (Haha, my mom says that if I ever get a dog I'll have to name it Sparky because that's the mascot's name!) But I'll post the next chapter soon, I promise! Much love, Vixen~~~

**PS**: Anyone else who reads my fics happen to go to ASU? I'd love to know someone who loves fanfics and goes there, it'd be great!


	14. Truce

Chapter Thirteen: Truce

*Hiiro had heard Serena's smart comment and immediately been upset. How dare she, an insignificant little girl, mock him! He wanted to kill her, to make her suffer and feel pain. He wanted to force her to feel shame, the way she made him feel. But when he had refocused his seething eyes and looked at her, all of his ideas of maiming and torturing her had dripped from his mind. 

She looked… amusing. Her long blonde hair was pulled into an unusual style, two pigtails with buns atop her head, her all-white outfit, her annoyed eyes, and her thin-pressed pink lips. She wasn't frightened of him at the moment, like she usually looked around him. Instead, she looked positively irritated. And what happened next he could not control. It slipped. His frown faltered and his mouth parted to allow laughter to flow.

As he laughed, he could feel his shoulders begin to shake, his hands tremble, and his heartbeat speed up. Blood pumped through his veins, and he felt lighter than he had ever felt. Even the sensation of floating in space had never made him quite so dizzy and faint. 

Finally when he regained control over himself, he tried to focus on Serena again. Looking toward the stool she had been perched upon, he noted she had gone missing. No… she had simply moved. Now she was leaning against the wall, looking deathly frightened of him. He now frowned. It looked as if her fear had returned. 

"Serena?" He asked.

"I want you to leave, now." She ordered, her red tongue licking her pink lips nervously.

"I won't hurt you." He mustered enough strength to mutter.

"I don't believe you." She inhaled sharply. He had really cracked, and now here they were, all alone.

"I won't."

"Really? And I suppose you were looking at me like I was a piece of meat for nothing?" She asked; narrowing her eyes and clawing at the wall behind her, wishing it would disappear so she could run.

"You make me angry."

"Really? You could have fooled me with those eyes." She muttered sarcastically.

"I won't hurt you." He repeated.

"I don't believe you." She echoed herself as well.

"Why not?"

"Let me think… oh yes, you held me against a wall, twice as a matter of fact- once you had me by the throat, and the second time by my shoulders. And both times you have refused to let go easily."

"I have more control now."

"Like I said, tell it to the jury, cause this judge is out to lunch. Leave me alone." She pleaded.

"Do you really like my drawing?" He asked, changing tactics. Instantly he saw her shoulders lose their tense rigidity and her white knuckles become pink again.

"Yes."

"Why did you paint me?"

"I don't know." She seemed to become colder when he mentioned the painting, so he decided to switch back to the drawing.

"I want to draw another one. Would you like it when I'm done with it?" He asked her.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch."

"There's always a catch. What do you get out of it?"

"Nothing."

"I thought you didn't like my presence?" She asked, tentatively pushing herself away from the wall and turning her gaze back to her portrait of him.

"I don't like anyone's presence. But I can handle yours."

"Really?" She asked, sarcasm dripping in her voice. Hiiro caught it and smirked briefly.

"Yes."

"Fine. You draw another mobile suit, and I'll keep it." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Fine." He nodded. Then he turned on his heel and quickly took out a pad of drawing paper and a set of pencils. Choosing to sit by the door again, a good distance away from Serena, he began to sketch.

As he moved his hand gracefully across the white paper and left dark lead lines across it, his mind wandered. He had been Perfect. He had had Perfection. No emotions had made him Perfect. No remorse for killing, no conscience about what he was to do, no questioning orders or authority. 

But hadn't he felt remorse when he had destroyed the pacifist plane on accident? When he had given his life over to Silvia Noventa to do with what she deemed just? Why had he saved Relena if he had no conscience? Why couldn't he just have let her die? And why had he questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing when he had been fighting on Earth? He had questioned his actions- there was no mistaking that. 

He had thought he had attained Perfection and kept it throughout the wars… but he hadn't. His fall from grace had occurred the moment he had taken his Gundam to Earth. He had felt emotions since then- even if they had only been brief and subtle. Not to mention wasn't rage an emotion? The same rage that had encompassed him when he had tried to kill Duo? When he had choked Serena? 

And then the laughter… he had laughed. Humor was an emotion. It seemed that since he had checked himself into this mental hospital he had felt more emotion than ever. Wasn't he here to repress those emotions once more? But it was becoming easier and easier simply to let them go, to let them flood and not lock them away like he had been.

"Hiiro?" He looked up to see Serena was calling to him.

"Yes?"

"I asked you a question, but since you didn't hear, I'll repeat it. Would you mind if I painted your mobile suit?"

"The one I signed earlier?"

"No, the one you claimed to have piloted during the wars. Of course the one you gave me earlier!" He smirked. 

"No."

"I can't?"

"No, I wouldn't mind if you did."

"You're so funny."

"I try."

"You do?" She looked at him oddly. He felt strange.

"Not usually."

"Hiiro, you really are mental." She shook her head and turned away from him. Setting up a blank canvas, she was just about the begin transferring his drawing onto the white cloth when the door to the art room opened. Both she and Hiiro looked up.

"Serena! There you are! And… Hiiro?" Bertha looked shocked, to say the least, that the two were in the same room alone and that neither had attempted to kill the other as of yet.

"Big Berga, what do you want?" Seren snipped.

"Serena, it's time for your meds. You were missing when we passed them out. You're lucky I thought to look in here before we called the police."

"Joy." Serena muttered, rolling her eyes at the large, burly woman in front of her.

"Serena, it's for your own good."

"You keep telling me that. I fail to see an improvement as of yet."

"Please Serena, just take the Valium?" Bertha asked the blonde girl patiently.

"Fine." Seren conceded. Taking the tiny white cup Bertha held out to her, she tipped her head back and drowned the drugs. When she was finished, Bertha made her open her mouth to check and make sure she had swallowed the pills.

"Good." The big nurse nodded. "Hiiro, I believe you have an appointment with Doctor Carl tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Good, just making sure you remembered. I'll be back for checks in twenty minutes." With that, she swiftly left the room. 

The moment she did, Serena opened her mouth and stuck one of her fingers inside. 

"You aren't throwing up, are you?" Hiiro asked, suddenly very concerned. He watched as she shook her head slightly, then made a sour face and pulled her finger from her mouth. Then she spit out the two pills she had supposedly swallowed. "Weren't you supposed to swallow those?"

"Going to tell?" She pressed him. "So what if I didn't? I'm not crazy. I may be anorexic and bulimic, but I'm not mentally disturbed."

"Valium is supposed to relax you."

"You mean sedate me. I doubt this is even Valium. It's probably a more potent sedative than they give most others."

"They won't change the rules for you."

"They would. That damn shrink Carl would do anything to get me to talk to him."

"Even drug you?"

"Yeah. That's why I never take the pills."

"I don't say much, and I don't have to take the drugs."

"You checked yourself in, and technically, you aren't insane. I swear they've got me on the loony list."

"You were dragged in here."

"Doesn't mean I'm crazy."

"Why are you here then? What made them bring you here?"

"None of your damn business."

"It isn't." Silence befell the two, and Serena looked down at the pills in her hand.

"Hiiro. Ever failed at something?" 

"At life." He muttered.

"I failed to die." She shifted her eyes to look at him. For the first time since he had held her against the wall in the hall after his shrink session their eyes met. Blue crashed upon blue, and his empty eyes met her void eyes. They matched each other in solemn fear, and the disheartening feeling of failure etched itself within their faces.

"Hiiro, Serena." Bertha returned a great deal sooner than she had said she would. Their moment in agonizing realization was broken, and her appearance spoiled their serious and morose mood. Serena quickly shoved the pills into her skirt pocket and looked at the nurse.

"What is it this time Big Berga?"

"Doctor Carl has asked that you two be separated."

"What?" Serena squawked at the same time Hiiro asked:

"Why?"

"Because you two seem to do nothing but fight. He worries that it might disrupt you." Bertha sighed. She didn't want to do this. In reality, she had heard Serena ask Hiiro if he had ever failed at anything. She had heard his response, and then Serena's. She had heard it all- and seen the gazes that they had given each other.

In her eyes, these two who had so vehemently hated each other only days before had found a unique bond. In her eyes, the tiny strand of trust that she had seen develop between the two would be more therapeutic than any session with a psychiatrist would ever be. But it was not her place to decide that, so she had decided that she could at least break them up now before they had grown too close to each other.

"I'm sorry kids. Serena, come on, back to your room." For a moment she thought there was going to be a long argument, but Serena simply pushed past Hiiro and walked out the art room door. 

"Goodbye, Serena." Hiiro whispered breathlessly as he watched Bertha follow her out. Damn… He wanted more, God, he wanted more. *

~~~ In case you missed the last notice, I am raising the rating on this to R. Please continue to read, don't forget about me because I don't automatically pop up when you get on FF.net!~~~


	15. Midnight Confessions

Chapter Fourteen: Midnight Confessions

*Hiiro sighed. It was the end of his fourth day in the mental facility. Never in his life had he been so tired. No training, no mission, no war had ever been this taxing on his soul. His heart felt heavy, his mind felt numb, and his soul was weary. Slowly he could feel his walls crumbling down inside of him. But it wasn't any shrink, psychotherapy, or advice that had broken him. It was art class. 

More precisely, it was the art room. Every time he walked into the room, his mind traveled back to the fiery blonde who both feared him and spoke to him. Her words had etched themselves deep within his heart, and for the life of him he could not understand why they affected him so.

"I won't hurt you."

"I don't believe you." 

"Why not?"

"Let me think… oh yes, you held me against a wall, twice as a matter of fact- once you had me by the throat, and the second time by my shoulders. And both times you have refused to let go easily."

"I have more control now."

"Like I said, tell it to the jury, cause this judge is out to lunch. Leave me alone."

She had been scared of him. Frightened. She had wanted him to leave because he had no control over his temper. But he didn't want her to be scared of him. He wanted to repress his temper so she would feel safe around him. But… 

"Hiiro. Ever failed at something?" 

"At life." He muttered.

"I failed to die."

He didn't understand. She had failed to die. Suicide. So she had failed a suicide attempt, and that was why she had been dragged here. But he had failed to live, and he had brought himself in. If she had failed to die and was thought to be crazy, and he had failed to live and was thought to be crazy, what was left for them?

She worried him. Since that conversation had begun, he had wanted nothing more than to talk to her again, to hear her voice, to watch her full lips form around each word, to hear what she thought and why she thought it, to know her. He wanted more. But for the last two days he hadn't been able to be near her. 

That Doctor Carl had some foolish notion that if they were together, one of them would really lose their mind and set the other off. But on the contrary, neither of them would do that. The Twister game had been the turning point in their tense acquaintanceship, and now nothing would be in their way of being civil towards each other. 

But the damn doctors didn't see it that way. They didn't see beneath the surface- hell, they never did. Which was the reason he hated shrinks. They always thought they could analyze him, his emotions, his thoughts, when in reality, they didn't know shit about him or anything he was.

He stifled a yawn and quickly removed his shirt. Throwing himself onto his bed, he quickly rolled over and shut his eyes. But it was another few hours before he would finally allow sleep to consume his frustrated and tired mind.

A light tap on his forehead woke him from his light sleep. Keeping his eyes shut, he felt he had only imagined it, and tried to fall back asleep. But another tap struck him, right between his eyes. Opening them, he looked up shocked to see none other than Serena hovering above him. He shot up and opened his mouth. Quickly her hand reached up and covered his mouth.

She handed him a shirt and beckoned for him to follow her. As he slipped out of bed to put on his shirt, he noticed she busied herself stuffing extra pillows beneath his sheets and covering them up so they looked like a body asleep. When she was done, she turned back around and pointed to the air conditioning vent that was on his ceiling. He noted that the vent covering was gone, and assumed they were going through it.

She stood on his bedside table and hoisted herself up, with a great deal effort, he noticed. He followed in suit, and put his years of training into motion as he silently followed her through the air ducts. He prayed she knew where she was going, but didn't have to worry for long when they stopped and she began to unscrew the air vent below them. 

Before she could jump down, he held his hand out to stop her. He slipped down, then reached up. She blushed and hesitated. He beckoned her again, and she took a deep breath and jumped. He caught her around her waist as she landed on her feet. Nodding him thanks, she grabbed his hand and began to tug at it. He saw the window, and knew what she was thinking.

They managed to escape into the courtyard through the window and run out into the gardens. Losing themselves in the twists and turns of the pathways, the two runaways hurried away, hoping that their flight would go unnoticed to anyone inside. Soon they reached the roses, and Serena slowed down, breathing hard and holding her hand to her heart.

"Hiiro, we need to stop."

"Alright." He nodded in agreement. He could see that she was having a hard time breathing, and wondered why. "Why don't you sit down?"

She nodded and settled herself on the grass in-between two large bushes of red roses. Hiiro joined her, making sure to sit a bit of a distance away, not wishing to frighten her at the moment. They sat in the night air for nearly an hour, simply breathing and taking in the soft moonlight as it bathed them in pure bliss and warmth. Then he spoke.

"Why?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I just get so angry that those idiots in there think they know what's best for me. As if they _know_ that me not seeing you is going to magically cure me. What bull do they honestly think they're going to pull on me?"

"I hate shrinks."

"You turned yourself in to them."

"I promised a friend I would after I lost my temper with him."

"Did you hurt him?" She looked at him, semi-interested, semi-alarmed.

"Yes." Serena watched his eyes cloud over.

"You said you were Perfect. What does that mean?"

"I had control over my emotions. I had hidden them. In fact, I believed I had purged myself of all emotions."

"But you lost your temper, got angry, and beat your friend."

"Hence the reason I lost my Perfection. I came here to get it back."

"These doctors? They'll tell you that you can't be Perfect. They'll tell you to let your emotions loose."

"I know."

"Don't listen to them. Do whatever you want."

"Why?"

"It's your life, you chose the style you want to live. Or not live, as the case might be. They tell me anorexia bulimia is a mental illness. I beg to differ. It's simply a lifestyle I chose to live. It's my control, my Perfection."

"But it was killing you."

"And repressing emotions was killing you. I see no difference." Hiiro sat quietly for a moment.

"Serena, look up at the stars."

"They're beautiful. I never looked much at the stars before, but you know something? If I could be anything in the universe, I would be a star."

"Why's that?"

"Stars are needed, people look to them for answers on everything from love lives, to wishes, to what else exists beyond our world. They seem to know everything, but like they don't want to share."

"But being a star must be very lonely."

"I'm already lonely."

"Are you that unhappy?" Hiiro frowned.

"You know, I really am. I haven't been happy for a long time."

"I've never been happy." He confessed. Serena looked at him sharply. 

"Are you happy now?"

"I don't know. I've never been happy because I've tried to withhold the feeling. I don't really know how it should feel." They settled into silence again.

"Hiiro?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me." She whispered. "What do you think it's like to die?"

"Why?"

"I'm tired. Humor me."

"I think… I think dying is like…I think that when you die, you don't realize what's going on. That everything becomes blurry and spins in circles. You forget everything… and then you remember only what you thought was most important- family, friends, memories. 

"I think maybe you feel so relieved of all the burdens that you had to carry during life that you feel like you can fly, but at the same time you feel heavy, like you're drowning. Then, maybe a bright light will just… appear, and from there… only God can tell you."

"Do you think suicide is a bad thing?"

"There is always another option. Whether the other option is worse than eternal damnation or not is up to you."

"Are you scared to die?"

"When I was younger I was. Then I became part of the Wars, and my life became expandable. I wasn't scared- in fact; I was more than willing to put myself at risk if I felt it was for the greater good of humanity. And fear is not an option the Perfect can often afford."

"And now?"

"Why?"  
"If I died Hiiro, if I killed myself right now, what would you say?"

"I would say nothing."

"What would you do?"

"Kill myself to join you." She shot up.

"You would kill yourself for me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Hnn."

"Kind of reminds me of Romeo and Juliet."

"But we aren't in love. Yet. And we aren't dead. Yet. We can still change our decisions. Serena, is your life so terrible that you would honestly consider death?"

"The night before I came here I did. Didn't anyone tell you why I they sent me here yet? I thought after I refused to answer you, you would have asked someone and found out."

"No. I wanted to hear it from you."

"So thoughtful of you."

"Tell me?"

"Maybe."

"Serena?" She sighed and reached up to let loose her hair. It tumbled down from its childish buns and pigtails, and he was suddenly struck with the thought that she was older than she appeared with them in.

"I was already having weight problems. I couldn't convince myself I was thin enough. My Daddy had always called me his fat little piggy when he… But since then I've always wanted to be thin- if only to get away from my memories of him." She took a deep, labored breath. "Anyway. That day I had had enough. I had just learned I was failing calculus and physics, and that plus an F on a history test had already put me in a bad mood. 

"On my way home I met Darien, my boyfriend, on the street. But he wasn't just a boyfriend to me. I loved him, deeply. But when I saw him, he was entangled in the arms of another woman. So I was too fat for his taste was I? I tried to confront him, but it didn't end well. Looking back I think I must have been crazy to think I loved him. How many times had he beaten me, touched me, hurt me, and then made me feel like I was the one who was to blame for it all? I should have known better than to trust a man back then." She gazed up at the stars, wishing she could forget the wretched memories. But she needed to tell someone- to tell Hiiro. So she continued on.

"When I finally made it home, I found my mother naked with some man who wasn't my father. Again. Hell, looking back, I'm half surprised that I wasn't raped by that man that night."

"Raped?" Hiiro looked on in concern.

"It's not like it had never happened before. Back home, it happened all too often." Serena whispered. "I suppose I just snapped. I couldn't live that way anymore. I was fat, ugly, stupid, unwanted and forgotten. So, I slipped a bottle of Excedrin and bottle of gin from the kitchen and just…well, I took seven of the pills. And then I drank. And drank. But I guess I didn't take enough to knock me out or kill me, just make me violently sick. My mother walked in and saw what I had done, and right then she called the cops. They took me away, and when I woke up, I was here."

"You tried suicide."

"And failed. But then, I'm a failure at everything else, why shouldn't I fail at dying too?" She snorted as tears slipped down her gaunt, pale, porcelain cheeks. 

"You are not a failure. Serena, you're a talented woman with a gift in art and painting. Not to mention gorgeous." He felt his face cover in a vale of red, and her face too, became pink.

"You know, sometimes I think my mother didn't really care that I took all those pills and drank that much. I think she just wanted to know I wouldn't be able to tell my dad what I had seen her doing. Not that he was home enough for him to really give a damn."

"Do you really think that?"

"Yes."

"Then screw your mother." The tense moment was broken by Serena's faeryish laughter as it rang out among the roses in the courtyard.

"Hiiro. You're the first man I haven't been scared enough of to avoid."

"You're the first person who I've ever explained being Perfect to."

"The way you explained death… it was beautiful."

"Death is ugly."

"Perhaps." She closed her lips, as if to humor him with his answer and continue to think she was the right one.

"It's getting late." He told her, standing.

"And God-forbid we get caught out of bed." She joked, standing as well. And they made their way in. *


	16. Probe, Analyze, and Dissect This

Chapter Fifteen: Probe, Analyze, and Dissect This 

*"Carl, may I speak to you for a moment?"

"Bertha. What's the matter?" Carl smiled warmly at her, and then frowned. "No one giving you trouble I hope?"

"Actually, things have been very quiet lately- too quiet. That's what I wanted to speak you about."

"Really? I should think you would appreciate the silence."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I do, I really do. It's just… I have to be worried about it. Even Serena has been quiet lately. Ever since you had her and Hiiro separated…"

"So it worked then?"

"Well, I have to admit. I don't think this is a good idea. Serena has been unusually complacent lately. It's almost as if she doesn't care one way or another. She eats without complaining, rarely speaks to anyone, never causes any disturbances, doesn't lose her temper, in fact, come to think of it, she hasn't smiled, smirked, frowned, or shown any sign of emotion in almost three days. I'm getting worried."

"No emotion?" Carl rubbed his chin; worry lay in his eyes.

"None. She's like a stick."

"And Hiiro? How has he been?"

"The same. No emotion. No temper. Nothing."

"I think it's time I had a chat with both of them. Separately of course."

"Of course. Thank you."

"It's my job. As Serena once pointed out, I picked this profession, no one else." Bertha smiled. 

"She does have a few good insights occasionally, doesn't she?"

"I have a feeling that if she would only open up to me, she would have a good many more."

"I'll send them in… now?"

"Sure. Now's as good a time as any other." Bertha left Carl's office in high spirits. She knew that something was going on between Serena and Hiiro- spoken or unspoken, contact or no contact, and now it was finally going to be revealed. Honestly? It had been bothering her. What had they possibly been doing with each other when they were constantly monitored and separated? But they were acting too similar for any other possibilities to be considered.

The first one of the two she came across was Serena. "Serena, Doctor Carl would like to see you." She told the petite girl. 

"Alright." Serena conceded easily. Bertha shuddered. Something was wrong. She watched as the blonde zombie disappeared around the corner of the hallway, heading towards the doctor's office. Then she headed to find Hiiro.

She found him sitting and staring out a window, sketch book in hand. And to think he had nearly refused to do any sort of art when he had first joined them. Now he could hardly be separated from his drawings.

"Hiiro, Doctor Carl would like to see you now instead of your originally scheduled time."

"Very well." He nodded. Instantly he dropped his pad and pencil and stalked off towards the doctor's office.

When Hiiro arrived, he found Serena was standing outside the office door, waiting to be seen as well. 

"Serena." He felt his heartbeat speed up, his stomach flip, and mind grow fuzzy. He leaned up against the wall beside her, and fought the urge to put his arm around her waist and drag her into him. Somehow he doubted she would appreciate it- and he would get in trouble with the doctor as well… not something he needed right now. But he wanted to touch her…

"Hiiro." Serena flushed slightly, but managed a small smile on her part for him. "I've missed seeing you."

"It's only been a day…" He told her.

"I know. But… well, I always seem to want things more badly when they're forbidden." He smirked.

"I know what you mean."

"I started painting your mobile suit."

"I have a new drawing to give you."

"I'd love to see it. Did you sign it for me?" She asked, her blue eyes wide with hope.

"Yes. It's not with me though, it's in my sketch book."

"Drop it in the garbage, I'll pick it up." He nodded, and felt the urge to laugh. Suddenly the heavy oak door to the office began to open, and the two jumped apart.

"Serena, Hiiro, you're both here! Well, I'll talk to Serena first. Hiiro, I'll be with you soon." Doctor Carl stepped into the hall and ushered Serena in.

As she settled into his office, she sighed. Another day in hell. But this time would be different. This time she was going to say nothing more than necessary. 

"Serena. How have you been?"

"Fine." Carl narrowed his eyes slightly. No smart remark?

"Really? Are you really fine?"

"Yes."

"You seem to be a little tired today. Has something happened over the last week Serena?"

"No."

"No to you aren't tired, or no to nothing's happened?"

"Both."

"I see. Serena, will you answer something for me?"

"Maybe." That was better! Now she was getting smart again.

"Why did you try to commit suicide Serena?"

"Hnn."

"Pardon me?"

"Hnn."

"Serena, please, don't grunt. Answer me. Why?"

"Goodbye Doctor." She stood and made for the door. But this time, Doctor Carl stood and beat her to it. 

"Serena, you can't walk out every time you don't want to talk about something. You need to get this off your chest. Please tell me?"

"No!" She told him forcefully. Then she reached for the door behind him and flung it open. By-stepping him, she made it out of the office and into the hallway.

"Serena. I only want to help you. Tell me what you were thinking? Please?"

"I hate shrinks." She muttered to Hiiro as she walked past him. He smirked, but said nothing. Then he turned back to see the doctor's head hanging and shaking.

"She just won't talk to me. No matter what I do, she won't talk to me. I wish she would just confide in someone, anyone! At least she would be getting it off her chest!" He sighed. "Alright Hiiro, come on in." Hiiro nodded, and stepped into the office.

"Hiiro, how are you?"

"Fine." The doctor's eyes narrowed, then widened.

"I hear you've found a niche in art. Drawing is it?"

"Yes."

"What do you draw?"

"Models of my mobile suit usually." Usually. 

"Why?"

"When I leave, I mean to make a few updates on it. I thought I would get a head start and sketch what I want to do."

"That sounds reasonable. Do you ever sketch anything for fun? Not for work, like your mobile suit, but for fun?"

"No."

"Why not? It's not good to be too fixated on your work you know. You'll burn out and not want to work any more."

"I won't burn out."

"Why don't you think so?"

"My work is my life. My life depends on my work. I don't have the luxury of burning out."

"But Hiiro, the war is over. A mobile suit isn't going to save your life any more."

"Hnn." The doctor's eyes widened.

"Tell me something Hiiro. What did you think when I asked Bertha to separate you and Serena? Weren't you pleased? You had told me she was confusing you. Aren't you happy to have the confusion gone?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Confusion is an emotion. You told me to 'let loose'. I was letting loose with her around and experiencing confusion. Then you took that confusion away. I did not think it was a good idea."

"You go home in one and a half days Hiiro. Do you really want to make friends here, only to have to say goodbye to them?"

"I thought that was my choice."

"It is. Hiiro? What do you think about repressing emotions?"

"It's a good thing- in moderation."

"Why?"

"If I didn't repress emotions, my rage would be unleashed." Hiiro paused. "However. If I repress all emotion, I will never feel other, good emotions."

"Like what?"

"Attraction, happiness, love."

"Hiiro, may I tell you what I thought of you repressing emotions?"

"Yes."

"I thought it was almost like you were anorexic."

"Really?" Hiiro's ears perked up. This was what Serena had compared him to the other night. 

"Yes. You've been starving yourself of emotion using willpower. It gives you a sense of control in the world, like an anorexic feels they can control their life when they regulate their food intake. But your willpower has been slipping, and now that you're beginning to taste those emotions, you feel out of control, like you can't handle yourself. The floodgates have opened. You are an anorexic who is re-learning to eat. And just like an anorexic, you didn't think anything was wrong with yourself. You thought that you had to stop eating now, or you would get fat again."

"As I see it, it's my life. I can chose to live this emotion 'anorexia' if I so chose." Doctor Carl became silent for a moment.

"Why do you think that?"

"Hnn."

"Hiiro, listen to me. Anorexia, no matter what kind, is not a lifestyle. It is a disease. It kills. A lifestyle isn't supposed to pose imminent death to the one who chooses it."

"Maybe I want death?"

"Are you suicidal?"

"No." He clipped. He closed his eyes tiredly, and a memory flashed through his thoughts.

"It's ok Hiiro, really."

"No… it's not." Hiiro picked up the gun again. He could feel his own hand shaking. "I hurt you, and I can't even cry for you. It's not ok…" He raised the gun to his own head and though his hand was shaking, he could feel the cool metal against his temple was steady. A shot rang out.

_ "Yui, suicide is not an honorable thing to do." Wufei yelled from the doorway, tears in his eyes. Trowa was holding a gun in his hand beside him, his expression not much better. Hiiro hand still stung from where Trowa had shot the gun out of his grasp._

_ "It would be a fitting punishment." Hiiro muttered._

"No Hiiro, it wouldn't."

"I would like to live. I didn't come out the Wars for nothing." Hiiro reaffirmed. The doctor sighed in relief. "I was only using it as a hypothetical."

"Well then. Hypothetically speaking, if you wanted to die, and you chose your lifestyle for that reason, I would say you were more unstable than we earlier believed. It is not in human nature to want death. Humans will do anything to survive. Unless, of course, they are mentally ill, in which case they sometimes do not know what is best for them. For those unfortunate few, we doctors are here to direct them."

"I see." Hiiro still didn't agree with him.

"But if we take it in terms your 'anorexic' situation, Hiiro, I would say you've gained a lot of weight. When you first came, you were hell-bent on keeping your emotions in. Now you not only want to release a certain few, and you can argue about them in an excellent way. I give you a clean bill of health on anger management. You can go home when you're ready."

"Really?" Hiiro blinked. He could leave… but what about… Serena… *


	17. I Want You

**WARNING: LIME (not lemon, just lime)**

Chapter Sixteen: I Want You

*Hiiro settled into his bed fully clothed. He was hoping Serena would come for him tonight. He wanted to tell her about the talk he had had with the doctor. He wanted to tell her about his anorexia, he wanted to tell her about his 'clean bill of health'. He wanted to tell her all that, and…

He wanted to hear her voice. Simple as that. He loved her voice. It was always so low, but sweet, with a hint of childish hope that had long since dies within her heart. He needed to hear her advice, to listen to her words of wisdom tonight. 

)(

As Serena threw her robe on over her clothes and lay down in her bed, she heard a crinkle. Reaching under her pillow she pulled out one of Hiiro's many drawings. It was her favorite. Instead of it being of a mobile suit, it was of the courtyard they had escaped into the other night. Tonight she wanted to go back there with him. But she would have to wait until after first checks and, of course, until everyone was asleep.

"Nighttime meds!" Bertha poked her head in the door. Serena, lost in her world of dreams, failed to notice the big woman. "Serena?" Bertha tried again. No such luck. So she pushed her way in and snatched the paper from Serena's hands.

"Give it back!" Seren cried indignantly. Bertha looked at it and noticed the signature.

"This is Hiiro's."

"He gave it to me." Serena rolled her eyes. "Now give it back."

"He gave it to you? Serena, when did you see him? Doctor Carl was perfectly clear that you were not to see Hiiro at all."

"He didn't give it to me in person. He gave it to someone else who gave it to me. Now please give it back."

"I don't think Doctor Carl would be very pleased if he heard about this."

"I don't care what that psycho-shrink thinks. That's my drawing, now hand it over."

"Serena, I'll give you this drawing back on one condition. You tell me why you tried suicide."

"No deal." Serena yelled, her face red with embarrassment and fury.

"Well then." Bertha began to pocket the drawing. 

"No! You can't take it from me, it's mine!"

"I'm sorry Serena. But if you can't tell me…"

"That's blackmail!"

"I know. You'll get it back when you can tell me. Now take your meds like a good girl." Serena fumed for a moment longer, then she grabbed the paper cup with the Valium pills and down the hatch they went. She opened her mouth to prove she had swallowed them, and then, when Bertha nodded and made her way out, she sulked. 

As the door closed behind Bertha, Serena quickly spat the meds out and hid them in her pillowcase. Then she lay down, her eyes wide open, waiting for checks to be over.

Near one o'clock, Serena managed to haul herself into the air ducts and make her way towards Hiiro's room. The minute she saw his face looking up at her in the air ducts, she smiled. He had known. She opened the hatch and he hauled himself up. Briefly their eyes met, and they glued to each other, intensity rising ten fold. Breaking their fixation upon each other, Serena pulled her head away and began crawling towards the duct that would lead to the window.

Nearly twenty minutes later, the two found themselves in the clear. The moment they reached the roses, Serena stopped. Hiiro stopped beside her, then stood and watched as she began to pace. Finally, when her pacing was finished, Serena gave up and flung herself at Hiiro. His strong arms encircled her petite body and cradled her close, rocking her and comforting her.

"Serena, what's wrong?"

"Bertha…" Serena breathed. She was close to tears. They blurred her vision and stung her eyes. "She took the drawing you made for me; the one of this garden."

"I'll make another."

"She threatened that if I didn't tell her why I tried suicide I would never see the drawing again."

"I'll make another." Hiiro repeated.

"It's the principal of the thing. Blackmail!"

"Serena…"

"I know." She pulled away from his hold, and he growled at his stupidity. He shouldn't have let her. He wanted her.

"What did the doctor ask you today?"

"Bull, like he always does."

"You were angry."

"He always asks the same goddamned questions. As if I'm going to answer them today when I haven't in the last three months."

"He told me I'm anorexic."

"What?" Her head shot up.

"Said I starve myself of emotions."

"And?"

"I told him I wanted to feel certain emotions. Attraction, happiness, love. Then he told me I was eating a lot, and that I have a clean bill of mental health. I can leave tomorrow."

"Le, leave?"

"Go away."

"I know what the word means, thank you. Are you leaving tomorrow?" She asked in concern.

"I need to get in touch with friends so they can pick me up."

"But you're leaving? You can't leave!"

"I know."

"But you're leaving anyway?"

"If I don't they'll suspect something."

"I don't give a damn. Hiiro, I want you."

"You, you want me? Want me to what?"

"I just…" The tears that had been threatening for so long finally began to slip down her cheeks. Hiiro reached up and brushed them away gently wit his thumb. He smiled lightly when he noticed his hand was nearly the size of her thin face. 

"You just what?" He asked her, his eyes filled with concern. She shook her head and let him pull her into his arms again. When he wrapped around her, she felt protected and safe. No scenes of violent rape flashed through her mind like the other times she had been wrapped in a man's arms. This time all she felt was warmth and pure attraction. She lifted her head and brought her hand up to trace his cheek. Slowly she ran her thin fingers down his strong jaw. Stroking it, she let her fingers ghost across his soft lips, ever so lightly.

Hiiro shivered deliciously under her touch. He could feel her trembling in his arms and knew he wasn't the only one who was aching with every last inch of his soul. He wanted to open his mouth and beg her to touch him, to kiss him, to love him. He wanted her soul so badly that he felt he could steal it from her soft heart as wantonly as the other men who had used her before. But he could never destroy her the way they had. What he wanted so deeply she would have to give him.

"Serena…"

"Yes?" She asked, one last salty tear escaping from her dead sapphire eyes.

"I…I want to kiss you. May I kiss you?" When she gave a slight nod and withdrew her delicate fingers, he sighed. Leaning down, he captured her rouge stained lips and drank greedily from the honey she offered him. God… every inch of his skin felt like it was on fire. Once again she had sparked a passion that ran through him, coursing in his veins, making him so hot and wild that he shook with the control it took to withhold himself from ravishing her.

Serena let his lips crash down upon hers and moaned deeply. This was what she had wanted. Oh God, passion and desire so intense that she felt like nothing but lethargically and blissfully aroused. As he deepened the kiss she felt a sudden sense of urgency, and her hands slipped around his neck and knotted themselves in his hair. He tasted smoky and dark- the way sin might. 

As their passionate kiss came to an end, both participants found themselves regretting the fact that they needed to pull away. Small, soft butterfly kisses ended the kiss, and they each breathed heavily, trying to catch their breaths. 

"God Hiiro- you can't leave me. I can't live without you here."

"Get out Serena. You need to tell the doctors something. Lie to them. Just tell them something. Then get out, and we can be together."

"I know." She whispered. "Hiiro. I love you."

"I love you."

"Hiiro, I want you. Please?"

"Serena, you have me."

"No, I want you. Please?"

"Serena, I can't take you… I would be no better than those men…"

"Hiiro! I want you to make me forget those men! I want to feel loved for a change. How do you think I feel, going to bed every night feeling used and dirty? I want to go to bed tonight feeling like I was loved for the first time. I want to feel new, clean. Please, take me."

"Serena." He groaned. His mouth crashed down on hers again. As they kissed, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Her tiny hands ran over his well-defined chest and stomach, then circled around his waist and rain up his back. As he deepened the kiss, her nails raked down into his skin, and he growled deeply. 

Pushing her against the garden wall, his hands found their way underneath her t-shirt and began to explore her soft flesh. He was slightly disturbed when he found he could feel her vertebrae, ribs, and hipbones easily as they protruded… Still, when she began to unbutton his jeans, he had to break from kissing her.

"You're sure?"

"Yes." She nodded, kissing his chest. Moving down, she kissed nearly to his bellybutton, then worked her way back up. Hiiro had to prop his hands against the wall with her in-between to keep from falling over in agony of pleasure. Bending his neck down, he began to kiss her jaw line, to lightly peck and nip at her neck, and then suck below her ear. He left a reddish circle in her milky white skin, and reminded himself he would have to be careful not to leave any traces of himself behind on her. 

Serena pushed his pants down and ran her hands over the hem of his boxers. His skin was so smooth, and she could feel his tight muscles tense and relax as her fingers mapped his body. His broad shoulders and strong arms propped around her left him open to a variety of attacks from her assaulting lips. Serena nipped at his chest, nuzzled him and then look up, only to find his eyes were slitted open, desire running rampant through them.

Hiiro unclasped her bra and his hands began to explore the flesh that had been covered. When she moaned and arched up, he grunted and had the urge to smash her against him. He wanted to feel her skin touching his, to have her nails rake down his back in agony once again. Soon his fingers traveled south, and they had no trouble lifting her skirt and stroking her inner thy lightly.

"Oh, God, oh, God!"

She moaned softly, music to his ears. Then he managed to gather himself long enough to pick her up around her waist and lay her on the ground. 

"I love you…" He murmured in her ear. *


	18. Traumatizing Shock

Chapter Seventeen: Traumatizing Shock

*When Serena awoke in the morning, she felt light. She felt good. She felt… loved. For the first time since she had been born she felt a tranquil and euphoric ascension she had never believed possible. Practically skipping, she turned on the shower and let the tiny beads of water trickle over her lithe form. She was even hungry this morning, a very good way to show the doctors she was getting better. 

Last night she had promised Hiiro as they were walking back that she would get out of the hospital as soon as she could. Though it meant finally opening up and revealing her dark secretive past to the doctors, she would do it for him. She had also made a silent promise to herself to gain weight. She had seen his face last night when they had spoke about how thin she was, and knew that he had been worried about her. 

Stepping out of the shower, she dressed in her usual white and stepped into the world of the mental hospital with a fresh outlook on everything. As she made her way down to the cafeteria, she silently continued to laugh and smile at everything that had happened last night.

"Good morning Serena. Ready for breakfast?" Asked the nutritionist Jake.

"Ready for two helpings as a matter of fact. I'm starved!" She smiled brightly at him. Then she felt a twinge of guilt when she saw his jaw drop. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I'm just hungry this morning is all."

"You're hungry?" The man asked, his eyes still wide.

"Yes, actually."

"Well alright! Double helpings for the gorgeous blonde in the front row!" He cheered enthusiastically. Serena smiled half heartedly as the food was placed before her. So many calories… it was so bad for her… maybe she would only eat one helping today, and move to two tomorrow. Or the next day. Or even the next. Hell, why not wait till next week?

"Serena, I knew you were anorexic bulimic, but I didn't know how sick you were. You're so thin."

"I never wanted to remember my father calling me his little piggy." She shuddered.

"I felt as if I was going to break you, like you were a piece of glass."

"I'm not that fragile, I've been used rougher before Hiiro."

"But I didn't want it to be rough. I was so worried about hurting you."

"Hiiro, I can't help it. I'm being forced to eat more, but…"

"Promise me you'll get better Serena? That you'll fight anorexia bulimia?"

"I…that's a big promise Hiiro."

"Please? I want to cuddle with you and know I won't break you." His face had a goofy grin written on it, but his eyes were serious.

"I promise."

No. She was going to eat two helpings today. Swallowing hard, she stuffed the first bite of waffle into her mouth and chewed it mechanically. Swallowing, she realized it wasn't so bad. And she didn't want to break her promise, or hurt Jake's feelings… down the hatch it went, calories and all.

"Serena, if you don't mind me asking, what made you change your mind about eating?" Jake asked.

"I promised a good friend I would get better and visit him outside of this nuthouse. And I always keep my promises."

"He must be a very special friend." Jake winked at her.

"He is." She nodded. Then she blushed. What was she doing? Acting like a little schoolgirl over Hiiro? Though, she had to admit, that was exactly how she felt. Still, she was a little too old for that. "He's a good friend who's been there for me. I owe it to him."

"I'm glad he made you promise it."

"Know something? Me too."

)(

"I'm sorry. The police brought her in; you cannot just take her out. I'm sorry. There is no easy way to tell you this, but Mr. Tsukino, your daughter Serena is certifiably insane. She has very serious medical conditions that she cannot leave unattended to. Otherwise, she might never get well."

"Medical conditions? Medical conditions? What the hell are you talking about you little bastard? My daughter's healthy as a horse, has been since the day we brought her home from the hospital. Now let her out!"

"Sir, I assure you, Serena is not well. Not only is she an anorexic bulimic; she is also dealing with anger management and deep depression. Sir, as hard as it might be for you to deal with this, you must understand. Your daughter tried to kill herself. She tried to over dose on alcohol and Excedrin. She is not well."

"From what that whore of a wife tell me, she's been in the goddamned place for three fucking months! If she's not cured by now, she can't be cured. Let her out! I'm not paying any more money for you to keep her locked away when she's perfectly healthy!"

"Mr. Tsukino, your daughter is very sick. It will take a very long time to help her. In fact, I doubt she will ever be quite healthy ever again. She's already ruined her heart and her ability to have children. Don't let her ruin something else as well by taking her out from under our care here."

"Children? Children? Good! Now I don't have to waste money on birth control for the little bitch! It's probably the best thing that's ever happened to her! Now I don't give a damn, let my daughter out of this nuthouse!"

"Sir, I'm sorry. We can't let her out." Carl sighed. He'd been at it with Serena's father for almost a half an hour, and the man was driving him crazy. He was beginning to picture what Serena's home-life must have been like growing up. An abusive drinking father, a cheating mother… none of it sounded too pleasing. And birth control? Why would her father need to buy her birth control pills? Carl felt very uneasy about the day he would be forced to release Serena back to her family.

"I want to see my goddamned daughter! Where the fuck is she?" The man roared. Carl sighed.

"Very well, you may see her. Under supervision."

"Supervision my ass. I want her, now!" Carl pushed a button on his phone at his desk.

"Cathy, please send Ms. Tsukino in."

"Yes sir."

Ten minutes later Serena walked in the door, and the smile dropped from her face. "Daddy!" She cried, her eyes widening in fear.

"Come here you little tramp!" He barked, grabbing her wrist. "Did you think you could get away with it? Did you? I'll teach you not to run away again!" As he spoke, his grip around her wrist tightened and she grimaced and squirmed in pain.

"Please Daddy, I didn't run away. The police brought me here. Please let me go." She tried to pull away, but only ended up sinking to the floor. He kicked at her.

"Bull shit! The cops wouldn't waste their time with any little piggies like you!" 

"Mr. Tsukino, enough!" Carl stood. "If you make another move, I'll call the police in here." Suddenly Mr. Tsukino dropped his daughter's wrist.

"Serena? Oh baby Serena, what have I done?" He asked. Serena, who was now holding her bruised wrist, scooted back on the floor away from him.

"Doctor Carl, I want to go now…" She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear."

"But Serena? Don't you want to come home with me?"

"No." She shook her head vigorously. 

"But you're my daughter… Mine!" She continued to back up as he drew in closer.

"No!" She yelped. She crawled for the door, but he grabbed her ankle and dragged her back.

"Wow, my little piggy, you've put on a few pounds! You're so fat you little whore! Come here!" He yelled, his face going bright reddish purple. When he had dragged her back close enough to him, he leaned down and kissed her hard.

"Get the hell off of me! Leave me alone!" She cried. By now the doctor had not only summoned security, but he had gotten up and began to tug at Mr. Tsukino, who was being more persistent. Soon the police arrived and began to help the doctor drag Mr. Tsukino out of the room and off of his daughter.

"She's my whore! Mine!" He yelled over and over. Serena simply sat on the ground, crying her eyes out. The doctor moved over to help her.

"No! No! No! No! Get away from me! Don't touch me! No!" She screamed, over and over again, backing up on the ground until she was plastered to the wall. She was still violently sobbing, and her nose was now bleeding.

"Serena, it's me, Doctor Carl. I only want to help you Serena. It's Doctor Carl."

"No, stay away! Say back!" She screamed. "God don't touch me, don't touch me! God, don't touch me!"

"Carl?" Bertha came rushing in. "Oh my… what happened?"

"Her father tried to rape her… right here in front of me." The doctor relayed. 

"Her father!" Bertha cried out in shock. The doctor nodded.

"I'm sure he was drunk, but still… and to think this was what she's been living with all these years… She's so terrified I can't get close to her."

"Let me try, I'm not a man after all." Bertha tried to gently inch her way towards Serena. 

"God no! Leave me alone! Go away!" She screamed, her face becoming blotchy red as angry tears, fear, and anger mixed.

"It's no use. She's completely lost it." Bertha backed away.

"Shall we…drugs? Enema? Shock her?" The doctor asked himself.

"Shock? No! We can't shock her! It might traumatize her for life at this stage!" Bertha gasped.

"What should we do then? I've never come across this in any patients I've ever dealt with, or any medical books I've ever read."

"A cold shower. That might shock her back into reality."

"How are we going to get her to a shower?" 

"I'm going to carry her." The doctor and nurse both turned to face Hiiro Yui. His face was set in a harsh, unforgiving expression, and his eyes were molten pools of blue lava. Both could tell her was absolutely livid. They stood by and watched as he slowly approached the young girl who was raving on the floor.

"Serena?" He asked very gently. "Serry? Come on Serry, it's me, Ro."

"Don't touch me!" She screamed again. But Hiiro was not to be deterred. He continuously got closer, and finally was able to draw her into a stiff hug.

"Serena, it's me, Hiiro."

"Hiiro?" She choked out, gasping for air through her tears. "Oh God, oh God, oh God! Hiiro…" She sobbed, letting him hug her tight as her arms frantically waved about in the air. "Don't let him touch me, don't let him touch me! Please don't let him touch me!"

"I won't let him near you." He cooed. Then, with the greatest possible delicacy, Hiiro slipped his arm under her knees and picked her up princess-style. "Shower?" He asked. 

"She can use my personal shower, it's closest." The doctor stammered. Quickly he opened the door for Hiiro, then stepped out and power walked down the hall, Hiiro and Bertha following behind. As soon as they reached the bathroom, the doctor turned the water on full blast, and Hiiro stepped into the shower, clothes and all, still holding Serena.

"Ahhhhh!" She screamed bloody murder. Hiiro winced, and Carl and Bertha nearly cried from the pain of simply watching Serena in her state of shock. 

"It's alright Serena, he can't get you. I'm here. I promised; I'm here." Hiiro managed to awkwardly sit in the shower with Serena on his lap under the cold water. Soon her sobs had subsided, and she only dug her face into Hiiro's chest more as his arms wrapped around her. *

~~~Well, this is almost over guys. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… oh wait, I take it back. I love to be the bearer of bad news… reactions are always so much more interesting! Anyway, I would ask that you **PLEASE** **review** this and let me know what you think before the end- I'd really like the comparison from this chapter to when you see what I have in store for the ending! **PLEASE**? Much love, Vixen~~~


	19. Romeo and Juliet

**WARNING: THIS SCENE IS INCREDIBLY DISTURBING! I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ IF YOU GET SICK EASILY.**

Chapter Eighteen: Romeo and Juliet

*As the doctor and nurse stepped out of the bathroom, they both sighed together. It appeared that Hiiro and Serena would be all right together for the time being.

"Carl, what happened?" Bertha finally asked.

"Well, I was working on Spencer's case, and Cathy buzzed me to say that a 'Mr. Tsukino' was in the lobby looking for his daughter. Well, naturally you can imagine my shock. As far as I had known, there was no Mr. Tsukino. I told her to send him in immediately. When he barged in the door, I was, well, shocked. He came into the room raving like mad about his daughter Serena and how he wanted her home. He didn't believe me when I said she was mentally unstable. He didn't believe me when I said she was sick. Then he claimed we were only out for money, otherwise I would have cured her within the last three months I'd had her."

"But it can take years sometimes to heal an anorexic bulimic to the point where they can fend for themselves!" Bertha yelled.

"I know. I tried to convince him of that, but he refused to see it my way. Finally I decided that it might clear things up if he saw Serena."

"So you buzzed her in."

"And immediately she froze with fear. I knew something bad was going to happen. I knew it. I don't know why I didn't call security sooner… He started beating her, right in front of me, and then I threatened the cops. Then he stopped, and when she tried to pull away- he had her wrist at the time- he went ballistic again. Then he began clawing at her like a madman, kissing her and trying to rip her clothes off. It was the most sicken display of… I don't know what it was. But I was physically sick watching it. That was when I did call in the security, and I got up and tried to pry him off of her, but he was huge. Finally security showed up, and you followed."

"Of all the… I cannot believe it! He tried to rape his daughter in your office! He must be mentally insane as well!"

"I agree. Even a drunken man would never do that to his own daughter- especially not while he knew who she was and was in public."

"Poor Serena."

"Well. I've finally got the motives. That must be why she tried suicide. She was sick of being used by her own father. The poor, poor dear." Carl shook his head sadly and ran his hands through his hair, pausing. Then he cleared his throat and continued. "And. I know why she's anorexic bulimic."

"She told you?"

"No. Her father did. While he was beating her, her called her a piggy. Imagine, being called a piggy by your father as he rapes you."

"I would rather not." Bertha snorted. "All the same, I know what you mean. It's an absolute disgrace. It's sickening to know there are people in the world that are that twisted. And she was so innocent. It just isn't fair!" A tear trickled down the large woman's cheek.

"That's the price we pay for working in a mental hospital. Life is never fair for our patients."

"But this time, I don't understand how life could be so cruel to such a young girl. Imagine if none of this had ever happened to her. She might have been normal. She might have finished high school, gone on to college, gotten a degree. She might have become a psychiatrist. But now… Now she's been corrupted and shocked beyond belief."

"I hope I can help her now that I know the underlying causes. I hope the God I can help save her soul before it's too late." A heavy silence fell over both doctor and nurse as they thought over their patient. Suddenly, the doctor broke it.

"Bertha, since when do Hiiro and Serena get along?"

"Since their run in outside your office the other day. I don't know why, but something must have just… clicked between them. I know they haven't been speaking to each other, but I also know that he was still giving her his drawings. In fact, I found her looking at one last night."

"But… why would she trust him more than she trusts us? Haven't we known her longer? Wouldn't we be the obvious choices for her to run to?" The doctor scratched his head confused.

"Maybe. But maybe Serena simply found a kindred spirit in Hiiro." 

"Kindred spirit? What are you talking about?"

"A kindred spirit; like a soul mate, only love doesn't necessarily have to come from it." 

"Interesting. Perhaps their drawing and painting has brought them closer together?"

"Maybe. But I think it was more. I think both of them needed each other. I've seen them together, when they're alone. A sweeter, more innocent couple I've never seen."

)(

"Hi, Hi, Hiiro?" Serena's teeth chattered. His concern mounted. Reaching up, which was hard to do because she whimpered when he removed his arm, he turned the cold water down and turned the warm water on. He wasn't about to let her freeze to death, even if the point was to shock her out of her fear.

"Serena?"

"Is, is he gone?" She whispered.

"He's gone." He hugged her tighter, inhaling the sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo.

"I don't want him to come back. Ever. I want to leave with you Hiiro."

"He's not coming back. If he does, I'll kill him. I swear Serena, I'll murder him in cold-blood for you. I'll protect you, I swear it."

"Good." She nodded, her blue lips regaining color. "How did you know?"

"I heard you screaming while I was in the phone booth outside the doctor's office in the lobby. I ran as fast as I could to get to you. I swear, if anyone ever lays another finger on you…"

"Hiiro, I'm so cold." He rubbed her arms vigorously, trying to warm her.

"Sorry. The doctor thought it was the only way to bring you back to reality, minus shocks."

"No shocks!" She screeched. 

"No shocks. I won't let them. You aren't crazy."

"Tell that to them." She whispered, nuzzling his chest with her nose and inhaling his clean smell.

"I will."

"They won't believe you." She told him softly. 

"I'm make them."

"I feel sick. I want to throw-up." 

"Serena…"

"Hiiro…" She pulled away from his grasp and leaned out of the shower dripping water all over the floor and rug. Leaning over the toilet, she began to heave. Simply thinking of her father made the bile rise in her throat. Soon the food she had eaten earlier followed, and finally a few drops of blood. She felt woozy and lightheaded as she sank back into Hiiro's arms.

"Blood Serena?" He asked, shaking her shoulders.

"I'm so tired Hiiro." She moaned, falling into his arms. He caught the collapsing girl and realized instantly that she had a fever.

"Serena? You're sick Serry."

"I know I'm sick Ro. I'm so tired."

"I'll put you on the bed, and…"

"No. I'm not tired- my soul is. Hiiro. I'm so tired of remembering people like my father, my mother, her boyfriends, Darien… I can't forget them. They haunt me Hiiro. I'm so tired of constantly being followed by these shadows. They make me sick, they force me to throw-up."

"Serena, I'm going to get the doctor and then…"

"No. Stay here, with me. Kiss me."

"You're sick…"

"Kiss me Hiiro." She looked up at him, her eyes begging him. So he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. There was none of the passion they had had for each other the night before. Now it was pure, innocent love and care that he poured into the kiss. He tried to will her to get better through it, but he knew in his heart that she would never recover from today. It had been the final blow to her sensitive psyche, and she would never be the same. God, he wished for her to be the same.

"Hiiro. I'm so tired." She told him when the kiss broke.

"I know. I'm tired too Serena. This goddamned world!" He yelled, slamming one of his fists onto the cold tile of the shower wall. "It never gives people like you and me any breaks. We're always being given the raw end of the deal, and frankly, I'm damn tired of it! It's not fair! Damnit, it's just not fair!" As he began to cry, Serena took it upon herself to cradle his head in her thin, bony arms and kiss away his tears.

"Hiiro, Hiiro! It's alright!" She cried. The water from the shower was obstructing her vision, but she was able to look up and spy a very familiar object. Letting go of Hiiro, she reached up.

"Serena? What are you doing?" He asked her, his tears forgotten.

"Hiiro, it's a miracle tool. Don't you see?" She fingered the plastic body of the razor. "It can all be over. Hiiro, we can end it here and now. God, let me end it."

"Serena! We can't! No, you can't!" He yelled, trying to grab the razor from her hand. But she had already extracted the metal blades.

"Aren't you tired? I'm tired. Tired of failing. I failed at everything Hiiro, even death. But maybe this time I can finally succeed. Help me Hiiro. I want the pain. I want it so that all the heartache can die. I want to die."

"But I love you, you can't die Serena, God, you can't die!"

"I can. You can too Hiiro. We can die together- just like Romeo and Juliet. Hiiro, we can leave this world that we hate so much!" And she raised the razor.

"Don't!" He yelled. But it was too late. She had already sliced once. Red liquid welled from the slash and began to drip from her wrist. Thick rivulets of the coppery fluid dripped down her arm. It mingled with the water in the shower and the tears that fell from both of their eyes. 

"It's too late Hiiro. I'm ending it. I want to end this." And she made the second incision. Hiiro began to sob as he watched the woman he had fallen in love with take her own life. He watched her slice through her flesh, watched her lifeline bleed with the red blood that told her to be human and mortal. 

"Serena…" He sobbed, holding her closer.

"I love you Hiiro." She lifted her head and looked at him one more time with her innocent yet dead sapphire eyes. He kissed her long and hard, the passion returning.

"I love you too Serena, God I love you too." And with that, he grabbed the razor from her. Looking down at his own, pale wrist, Hiiro cringed. 

_"If I died Hiiro, if I killed myself right now, what would you say?"_

_"I would say nothing."_

_"What would you do?"_

_"Kill myself to join you." She shot up._

_"You would kill yourself for me?"_

_"Yes_."

He could see through his papery colored skin the blue and red veins that awaited his sharp, metallic slice. As he dragged the razor across, he marveled at the pain he did not feel. There was no sting, no rip or tear, only the dull feeling of an ache that pounded in his skull. One more wrist, and then he was finished. He had severed the blue and red lines, and death was near.

_"Hiiro?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Tell me." She whispered. "What do you think it's like to die?"_

_"Why?"_

_"I'm tired. Humor me."_

_"I think… I think dying is like…I think that when you die, you don't realize what's going on. That everything becomes blurry and spins in circles. You forget everything… and then you remember only what you thought was most important- family, friends, memories. _

_"I think maybe you feel so relieved of all the burdens that you had to carry during life that you feel like you can fly, but at the same time you feel heavy, like you're drowning. Then, maybe a bright light will just… appear, and from there… only God can tell you."_

"I love you Serena." With that, he bent down and raised Serena's face with his sore wrist. It was pale, her eyes closed, and her breath ragged. Then, with what worldly strength he had left, he allowed his head to droop forward and his lips to crash upon hers one last time.

"Life is never fair." Bertha shook her head sadly.

"I don't hear any screaming any more. I think Hiiro's calmed her down."

"Let's check. I don't know how we're going to help Serena get through this, but I swear we will. Somehow." As the two stood up, Carl held the bathroom door open for Bertha.

"Oh my God!" She screamed. He ran inside after her to see what had scared her. The sight that met his eyes was either the most depressing sight he had ever seen, or the most beautiful; he was not quite sure which it was. 

Beneath the falling water of the shower and amidst the steam lie Serena and Hiiro. The red blood that had pooled around them created a puddle of crimson water; like a mock red carpet rolled out for the King and Queen. The King and his Queen stayed still, entangled with each other. Their fingers were entwined, wrists pressed together, mingling their blood as it dripped from their bodies. Serena's hair was let loose in a honey cascade that covered both herself and Hiiro. But the most touching of all… his lips were still pressed to hers in their last kiss of undying love. The King and Queen, Romeo and Juliet, were dead. *


	20. Eulogies

Epilogue: Eulogies 

*"It's a beautiful portrait." Hilde strained through her tears. The pilots and their girlfriends had gathered in a small chapel to pay their last respects to their dear friend and comrade.

"I wonder who did it?" Duo asked, unashamed to let him own tears trail down his pale cheeks.

"The portrait was done by a young woman named Serena Tsukino. She and Hiiro had grown very close over the week he spent in the hospital." The group turned to face a sullen man in a long white lab coat with a large, buxom woman on his arm. "You must be Hiiro's friends?"

"I'm Duo, Duo Maxwell." The braided boy held his hand out for the doctor to grasp.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Maxwell. Talking to you over the phone isn't the same as meeting you in person.

"It's nice to meet you as well Doctor Benson."

"Carl, please."

"Carl." Duo nodded, his lips pursed tightly, his face gaunt and expression sullen. "You were the doctor that found them then?"

"Yes. My wife Bertha and I found them." Carl gulped. 

"I'm… I'm so sorry…" Duo gulped, choking back tears.

"Carl, do you think you could tell us how he, well, you know?" Quatre looked up through the tears that were streaming down his face. Dorothy already had Quatre in a hug, but the blonde boy couldn't hold his tears in. Even with his good friends and girlfriend beside him, he couldn't handle it.

"I'm surprised the coroner didn't tell you." Carl took a deep breath. "Mr. Maxwell, are you a God-fearing man?"

"Yes, sir, I am." Duo's eyes leaked salty tears. 

"Then Hiiro was an angel, one of God's." All four of the pilot's heads looked up at the man with skepticism in their eyes.

"Carl, we served in the Eve Wars with Hiiro Yui for over five years. In all that time, Hiiro has been called many things, but an angel has never been one. Do not dishonor his memory by lying about him." Sally lay her hand on his shoulder, and Wufei placed his hand atop hers, drawing strength from the comfort she offered him.

"Mr. Chang, I assure, it is no lie. Hiiro was an angel. Didn't anyone tell you how he died?"

"We know he committed suicide." Trowa replied robotically. Catherine pressed herself into his side more.

"Hiiro killed himself while he was wrapped up in the arms of the woman whom he loved. She had killed herself, and Hiiro, not wanting to be apart from her in this life or the next, took his own life. When we found them, they were still kissing. He died not the death of one who committed suicide, but of an angel who wanted to stay with the woman he loved."

"Hiiro was in love?" Quatre gasped.

"He fell in love with another of my patients, Ms. Serena Tsukino. The very same woman who painted that portrait."

"He was in love with a crazy woman?"

"She was not crazy." Bertha interjected, her eyes full of passionate tears. "Serena was traumatized by her father and mother. She was an anorexic bulimic that had attempted suicide after her father had raped her. Hiiro fell in love with her."

"And he was happy?" Duo asked.

"Very." Carl nodded, trying to assure Hiiro's friends.

"Can everyone please be seated so we may begin the ceremony?" Asked the priest at the alter in front of them. They quickly took their seats.

"There comes a day of revelation in everyone's life. Whether they learn they are old, or young, or not quite as invincible as they once believed they were. In Hiiro Yui's life, his day of revelation came on the day of his death." The priest paused. "Hiiro Yui was a man of many talents. He was the top Preventer on payroll. He was the best computer programmer that DCG had ever hired. He was a friend, though at times a temperamental one, and he was an honest man who was trying to pay retribution for his wartime acts. Hiiro Yui was more, though. He was a man that gave his life for love, and for that, we must all pray God will be understanding and forever merciful. As Saint Francis de Sales once said: "Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing is s gentle as real strength." " The priest finished. "If anyone would like to say a few words about Hiiro, please feel free to step forward now."

"I would." A sweet voice echoed through the church. A woman dressed in a white suit with a blonde bun stood from the back of the church and walked forward. As she took the pulpit, she smiled sweetly and sadly.

"Hiiro Yui was, in everyway, my guardian angel. He walked with me in life when I was heartbroken, beaten, and ruined. He walked with me in life, when I was cheerful, in love, and happy. He told me he loved me; she showed me he loved me, and he made me love him. Hiiro Yui was and is, in every way, my savior. He saved me in every way a person can be saved. Never before had I believed such an angel of innocence and protection would ever find me, but when I met him, my faith was restored. 

"For those of you who weep today for the loss of a friend, the loss of a comrade, and the loss of one so great, do not cry. Ro is happy, well, and healthy in Heaven- and I guarantee that he wants to see you all there when your time has come." She gave a quick nod at the end of her speech, and then she turned and walked out the doors of the church.

For a long time no one spoke, all were moved by the strange woman's delicate manner and touching speech. When the shock had finally worn off, they began to stand, milling around, hugging and comforting each other.

"I've never seen her, but she claimed Hiiro loved her." Trowa mussed.

"I thought Hiiro loved the artist Serena, the woman that Carl mentioned." Duo asked.

"I know he loved her." Carl joined them.

"Then who was she?" Wufei grumbled. 

"Ro… Ro… that name is so familiar. Where have I heard it before?"

"I'm going to carry her." The doctor and nurse both turned to face Hiiro Yui. His face was set in a harsh, unforgiving expression, and his eyes were molten pools of blue lava. Both could tell her was absolutely livid. They stood by and watched as he slowly approached the young girl who was raving on the floor.

"Serena?" He asked very gently. "Serry? Come on Serry, it's me, Ro."

"Don't touch me!" She screamed again. But Hiiro was not to be deterred. He continuously got closer, and finally was able to draw her into a stiff hug.

"Serena, it's me, Hiiro."

"That's it!" Carl jumped, surprising everyone near him. "Serena… Serena used to call him Ro. It was her nickname for him."

"But no one could ever call Yui that and get away with it. He would kill them first." Wufei scoffed.

"Then, that woman…" Quatre looked at the doors. "Was she…? Is that possible?"

"Serena's ghost?" Duo whispered. They looked towards the ceiling of the church, and each of them suddenly felt warm and relaxed as a yellow light gleamed down from above. They stood basking in the light as long as it continued, and when it finally ended, they knew the truth.

"Hiiro, Serena, we'll never forget you." Duo uttered. *

The End.

~~~ Well? How about it then? I hope you all enjoyed this fic. I worked incredibly hard on it- pulled an all-nighter to finish it actually. It turned out nearly exactly as I had hoped, though I would have liked to make their death scene longer, I thought people would riot (lol). 

**PLEASE RATE ME: 1-10, 1 worst, 10 best, no mark-downs for killing them off.**

Thank you all for supporting me and reviewing this fic during the duration of it. You'll never know just how much each and every review means to me. Much love to everyone, Vixen~~~ Rix13rix@aol.com


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